Cayman’s ‘secrets’ to be revealed on TV reality show
(CNS): The new reality TV show Grand Cayman: Secrets in Paradise will be airing on Hulu on Tuesday evening. But the show has nothing to do with any ‘secrets’ of the offshore sector, which Cayman is most often associated with on TV and in movies, but is based on the lives and scandals of a group of wealthy residents. The show is co-produced by former Victoria’s Secret model Selita Ebanks, who was born in George Town.
Ebanks is also part of the cast, alongside Elizabeth Chambers, the ex-wife of actor Armie Hammer, as well as Courtney McTaggart, Chelsea Flynn, Craig Jervis, Cass Lacelle, Aaron Bernardo and Julian Foster.
“Y’all not strong enough for the Cayman Islands,” said Ebanks in the show’s trailer. Promoting Cayman as “a playground for the rich and famous”, the cast in what appears to be a partially scripted and partially staged reality show is purporting to expose “the rocky waters of relationships, friendships and careers in the paradise that is Grand Cayman”.
The upcoming show has triggered a lively discussion on social media over whether this type of show helps or hinders Cayman’s status as a prime tourism destination and a place where people want to do business. Some are cringing with embarrassment while others can’t wait to lap it up.
See the trailer below:
- Fascinated
- Happy
- Sad
- Angry
- Bored
- Afraid
Category: Art & Entertainment, Local News
It’s shocking to think that these burnouts reviewed the final product and thought: ‘this is perfect’.
Tasteless and paints another bad picture for the Cayman Islands. People will now look and frown on us as an infested sexually transmitted disease country.
Well done Juliana and Kenneth. Another reason why election can’t come quick enough!!
A series showing how “Christian” Cayman lets the rich dodge tax which would help the poor would be welcomed.
Tell me you don’t have the faintest idea about financial services, without telling me that you don’t have the faintest idea about financial services…
Will Buju and Blacks be making appearances?
An affront to Cayman Kind! Stop!
Let the values of these verdant Cayman Islands be remembered and upheld not corroded.
The youth (the future) are too important.
So disappointing. What a waste of potential and an affront to CaymanKind. When other celebrities and forces to be reckoned with are using their time and influence for good and worthy projects….Cayman needs better….can media guardians put forward a more humanitarian, intellectual or kind front…not a self-obsessed one?
Once again, like FBoy Island before it, this show does not hold any promise of improving our international business or tourism reputation, by adding beneficial mystique. It just adds another unhelpful layer of tarnish we’ll have to scrub off later.
Does anyone in Cayman have a name? Just asking. lol
TV Guide “A cringe worthy, embarrassing tale of well heeled getto fab 30 somethings pretending they really matter. Takes douchbaggery to new heights! Normal Caymanians will want to renounce their citizenship.
Well heeled…?
Heeled “provided with money; flush or wealthy (usually used in combination)”
What is wrong with people. It’s just a reality tv show; mindless entertainment. Give them credit for pulling it off.
And further tarnish our reputation? I guess you’re running for next year’s election.
Reality?
I can only pray that it is not like the movie “The Firm”, which I had great reservations about from the get go, although the then Ministry of Tourism lauded it profusely before it was released.
That movie tainted us as a dodgy place forever, and we can see how much effort we have had to make to keep off the OECD and other listings. And that goal post keep changing.
Where is our local film commission, and what is their take on this or is that another white elephant?
we are dodgy…the more we deny it,,,the more dodgy we appear.
Truth!
who? LMAO
Ok like honest that episode was like totally epic! 💯
I heard everyone was watching and like honestly I’ve seen some like totally awesome tv shows before but this was like honestly the totally awesomest. Is like awesomest even a word? Ok like honestly after that episode it’s like honestly a word now hashtag awesomest!
Are you being sarcastic as I can’t tell. Was so boring to me and a few of the clips showing future episode were definitely cringe worthy
I’m like seriously dude , awesome, OMG and other wasted words for those who cannot put a meaningful sentence together….but it does sum up the scrapings from the bottom of the barrel.
the sheer amount of people willing to show case their stupidity to the world is staggering.
They are certainly showcasing their shallow mentalities and what they think of Cayman. Those same people help to pave the way for the debauched lifestyles that exist right here. They better be honest about the truth of their real lives or people will set them straight quick! Quite frankly this is just tacky entertainment with a bunch of XXXX pretending to be successful. It is nothing short of embarrassing for them and for our Country. Trash will always be trash and when we speak out about their trashy lifestyles they respond with “you’re just a hater” and that right there is the extent of their vocabulary!
You can put lipstick on a pig but it is still a pig.
#CaymanIsMoreThanThis!
They missed out Oprah and Meghan Markle in the cast.
based on the trailer…grab the popcorn…and the vomit bag…
You think these wasters are terrible, those wanna be’s that were vying for a role in this production but got rejected for this rubbish would have put this place in the cesspit with no walls to climb out. The line up of cokeheads , phony philanthropist and so called Cayman royalty bogus pariahs would have made us the laughing stock of the entire Caribbean showcasing their absolute stupidity to the entire world.We should be thankful for the moronic nincom poops we got at least they are wearing the appropriate entire for the beach and not ballroom gowns!
💯 percent correct.
Speaking of Reality TV, dare we ask, when is the Crown going to reissue it’s charges against the recidivist leader of West Bay West?
Never, it’s dead
…or perhaps until next time.
How many episodes are dedicated to unqualified vendors accepting jobs for which they lied about having proficiency, can’t understand, or will ever finish? Season 521 of Cayman-Con, est 1503.
Three part Episode idea: Chronicle the effort of douchebag ___ in trying to pre-alert and receive a new bikini, delivered by FedEx to Miami freight forwarder, clearing it via HM Customs. 4 weeks later paying equivalent of 100% markup on goods. Might be a three part episode as they pre-alert, cancel, load up invoices, have them rejected, canceled pre alert, lost goods claim, etc etc. Oh, the elitist glamour of it all.
The developer marketing narrative that Cayman is somehow a playground for the rich and famous, is (a) broadly not true, and (b) a toxic recipe, appealing only to those without class, money, or any valuable community standing. We don’t need any more of that grade of avarice in Cayman. Frankly, we all loose and across all standard of living categories, with a doubling down on douche.
well said!
Bad choice these people made being involved in this. We all make mistakes, but this one is so public how does one justify it? Hope it gives them some sense of worth that they all apparently lack. Be kind, they clearly need attention. No need to spew so much hate we all make mistakes.
Nicely said… im sure you are a good person
Seletas contribution to Cayman LMAO!
I’m now so ashamed to call her one our own.
How can she look on this with pride.
It’s disgusting.
Because she has no class. Simple. Come home to drag her own and the Country through the gutter. She is the same one that called Cayman a third world Country. So it’s not third world anymore awa? Asking for a friend….
These are the kids that spent too much time poppyshowing at home instead of being encouraged to read a book, in school instead of getting an education to learn a usable education and had one too many adults lying to them telling them how smart they were in doing so instead of telling them the truth about the type of self-indulged, annoying and narcissistic behaviour is really was. And we get… wait.. forget the name of this burning trash pile since it is soooooo engaging and meaningful… Damn.. forgot it again reading this… oh yes.. “Look at me i’m pretty: In Grand Cayman”. God help us.
When is it coming on?
Hopefully never…praying for a small miracle.
You can always tell the complete blow hard nobodies when they have worry about getting “kicked off the island”
Not here the beat a dead horse. Real rich and famous people would never this, so it’s just entertainment. Hope it’s enjoyable (but setting expectations accordingly).
I daren’t even consider watching it. I suspect a cast of desperate wannabe morons who haven’t done a day’s work between them.
Did anyone watch The Retirement Plan they filmed here during covid with that block head from Hellboy and cretinous idiot Cage were in?
Absolutely ghastly.
I am behooved with excitement be watchin dis in mi yard wit Bobo just hopin da Secret sugar daddy be big Mack McKeeva and maybe Diddy poppin bottles.
I prefer the 1993 Tom Cruise Gene Hackman movie The Firm “wire that money to the Caymans” depiction of the Cayman Islands than this show.
This reality TV show words that come to mind are twits, cheesy, fruitcakes and head cases.
However they should do a big screen viewing of this show somewhere like at Camana Bay square as it would be entertaining to see Cayman locals reaction to it. 🍿 🥤 … the reality tv show could be so cheesy it’s a big hit “what you cheated on me while I was pregnant” 🧀
Seriously, CB would be so crowded it would be hard to find space to park near international school. I think we underestimate just how little most people and especially youth are able to think critically!
Influencers like these are a plague unto the world. No worthy contributions to anyone or anything but their bank accounts.
Vague empty vassals of flesh and blood. Cue The Beautiful People by MM.
Wannabe influencers.
Influencers of garbage! No decorum.
Should be named “I Lost my job as a model, so now I need some attention.”
Not one person in that show is attractive. Just skinny and arrogant. They couldn’t pound back casava cake like a real Caymanian.
Plus 1, please!
ouch
Stupid is as stupid does!
CRINGE
American style trash TV comes to Cayman. What a fing embarrassment for the whole island.
And produced by a Caymanian…
You mean English style trash TV comes to Cayman.
Bunch of wanna be, look-at-me, social vipers. These people are flagrant narcissists who only care about their looks and hanging with the “in” crowd. Disgusting. Have these people made any contribution to Cayman society? At all? Ever?
Try so go spend some of that energy mentoring a kid or coaching a youth sports team or saving the coral reefs or delivering food to shut-ins. Do something productive. Jeez.
They all too busy demanding other’s attention for all the wrong reasons. They are all about their egos nothing to do with actually contributing in a positive manner to this Country we call home.
I am a native and this is simply disgusting that this is even being allowed. They do not represent anything Cayman. Nobody cares that you are all XXXXX. Nobody with any substance looks up to any of you all. Please stop embarrassing yourselves and this Country. I don’t know why you’re even back Selita….you hate your own people! (sick)
Trash is trash even if it was filmed in Cayman.
I did an IQ test before watching the trailer. I did an IQ test post-trailer.
I lost approximately 20% of my brain function due to watching these clowns.
Cayman does not need the type of attention these junk “reality” shows bring. 👎🏼👎🏼👎🏼 This type of “entertainment” needs to be a thing of the past.
An alternative version, set in the real world…
Title: “Cubicles in Paradise”
[Opening Scene: A drab, fluorescent-lit office filled with cubicles. The sound of typing and the occasional ring of a phone fill the air. The camera pans over a sign that reads “Cayman Financial Services: We Excel in Excel.”]
Narrator (Voiceover): Welcome to the thrilling world of Cayman Islands financial services, where the most dangerous thing we do is… a pivot table.
[Cut to DAVE, an English expat in his 30s, standing by the water cooler with a mug that says ‘I’d rather be in Luton.’]
Dave: You see, when I told my mates I was moving to the Cayman Islands, they were all, “Dave, you’re gonna be living the dream! Sun, sea, and… well, you know.” Turns out, the most exciting part of my day is deciding whether to use a bar chart or a pie chart in my report.
[Cut to JEN, another expat, sitting in her cubicle surrounded by stacks of paper.]
Jen: People think it’s all glamorous, living in the Cayman Islands. And it is, if you find tax compliance and anti-money laundering regulations particularly sexy. I moved here for the adventure; the only risk I’ve taken is eating the office sushi.
[Dave walks over to Jen’s cubicle.]
Dave: Fancy a wild night out after work? I hear the new compliance guidelines just dropped.
Jen: Oh, you rebel. Let me grab my highlighter.
[Cut to MARK, the office manager, modeled after the boss from Office Space, walking through the office with a coffee mug.]
Mark: Alright, team, we need to talk about synergy. And by synergy, I mean figuring out why none of you have updated the client database. Remember, our idea of money laundering is accidentally leaving a fiver in your trousers on wash day.
[Scene: The office break room. A group of expats gathered around a table, eating lunch.]
Group Member 1: I thought moving to the Cayman would mean rubbing elbows with the rich and famous. The only thing I’ve rubbed elbows with is the photocopier.
Group Member 2: And everyone back home thinks we’re out here uncovering financial secrets. The only secret I’ve discovered is the mystery of who keeps stealing my yogurt from the fridge.
[Cut back to Dave at the water cooler, this time with a new employee, SAM.]
Dave: You’ll love it here, Sam. It’s just like being in a British office, but with the occasional palm tree sighting.
Sam: I was promised exciting offshore finance adventures!
Dave: Oh, the adventures! Just last week, I had to use the emergency exit… because the lift was being serviced. Pure adrenaline.
[Closing Scene: The office at sunset, with everyone packing up to leave. The camera pans out to show the beautiful Cayman beach in the background, untouched by the office workers.]
Narrator (Voiceover): So, while the world imagines a life of intrigue and luxury in the Cayman Islands, our heroes in the financial services sector know the truth. Their lives are filled with spreadsheets, compliance reports, and the ever-persistent quest for the perfect pie chart. In Cayman, paradise isn’t just a place; it’s a state of mind… that comes with a great dental plan.
[Fade out with the sound of a printer jamming and Dave sighing in the background.]
THE END
LOL! Dude!! This is brilliant!
Brilliant and so true … not one Caymanian crossed Dave path in office?
They had long since gone home early…
Financial services jobs are there to be had – WORC invited every single expat here because no Caymanian wanted their job.
But most people don’t actually want financial services jobs, hence the current crisis in the US:
“Making accounting sexy again: The profession needs a makeover to attract newcomers. The Economist, 27 March 2024. Many [accountants and auditors] veterans are retiring — five years ago three in four certified accountants were at or near retirement age, according to AICPA. Too few youngsters are interested in taking their place… This is having a material impact on American business. Advance Auto Parts, a car-parts supplier, explicitly mentioned “the loss of certain accounting personnel and turnover of accounting positions” as a reason for delaying its quarterly regulatory filings last year. It was not alone. In 2023 more than 700 companies blamed a lack of personnel, typically in accounting, for potential errors in their financial statements, according to Bloomberg, nearly a third more than made similar excuses in 2019. Unless more people are attracted to the profession, such problems will proliferate. The rub is that making accounting appealing as a career is hard…” https://www.economist.com/business/2024/03/27/making-accounting-sexy-again
See also:
https://www.ifac.org/knowledge-gateway/preparing-future-ready-professionals/discussion/addressing-decline-accounting-talent-pipeline
https://www.ctol.digital/news/accountant-shortage-causing-delays-in-company-reports/
https://www.businessinsider.com/accountant-shortage-companies-delay-key-reports-tupperware-2024-4
And/or Caymanians simply aren’t qualified for such jobs:
https://caymannewsservice.com/2024/04/education-data-report-reflects-poor-school-results/
https://caymannewsservice.com/2023/05/report-shows-school-leaver-results-drop-from-peak/
https://caymannewsservice.com/2022/04/almost-60-of-year-11-students-miss-2021-exam-targets.
https://caymannewsservice.com/2019/09/school-standards-gap/
https://caymannewsservice.com/2018/12/2018-year-11-exam-results/
https://caymannewsservice.com/2017/05/education-results-fall-in-2016-data-report/
https://www.caymancompass.com/2016/01/21/barlow-education-versus-protection
https://barlowscayman.blogspot.com/2015/05/caymans-entitlement-culture.html
Neither of the above are expats’ fault, cathartic though it may be whinge. On the contrary, the import taxes expats pay on everything fund the NAU, the second NAU (AKA the civil service), and various pork barrel project such as the persistently loss-making airline.
WORC doesn’t “invite” anyone to obtain employment….
By approving their work permit application, they do. The point made by the person above is correct: Caymanians in WORC control every aspect of the process.
Another thing: Caymanians whinging on this website don’t seem to want to go to university *themselves* to qualify as accountants. I infer this because they don’t bother.
Then they whinge that expats have been hired in lieu on the non-existent highly qualified Caymanians. Who don’t exist. WTAF?
Ummmm, the government school system is run, managed, conceived, operated, and filled with expats. Just sayin.
By Expats you mean Jamaicans, right..?
True. Thanks for the links. Accountants are overworked and underpaid.
ok whoever this is, I want to be your friend, this is hands down wickedly funny scripting!! Well done!
When is it coming on?
I would totally watch this!
I’d change [The CLOSING scene: The stars are bright but the fluorescent light from the office masks it. No one is packing up to leave, staff is eating from styrofoam containers with their eyes on 3 computer screens in front of them, some are on their phones saying goodnight to their children. Security guards are patiently waiting for those who would ask to walk them to their cars. It will be awhile…The camera pans out to show what is left from the beautiful Cayman beach in the background, untouched by the office workers.]
One of the best things I’ve read in a long time. This is brilliant! Thank you!
BORING. Thank God this isnt the show. I feel sorry for all your people who work in the financial services industry. Get a life.
If we weren’t here, who would Caymanians claims are stealing all “their” jobs?! 😂🤡🤷♀️
Good point. Also, who would actually subsidise all the Caymanians?
Very little of the good things about Cayman were paid for by Caymanians – or achieved by Caymanians. Rather, they have expats to thank. They don’t thank us though, do they. They whinge constantly. It’s most tiresome.
Do they reveal how that one guy got the nickname “Rolex”?
I had a dog named Rolex, he was a watch dog.
I think you are just winding us all up.
In fairness he did get off the charge 🤣🤣
Because of Daddy’s money and influence
Do these people not realise this show makes them look like whores?
mmmmmmmmmmmmm yeeaaaaa
I don’t blame them. The show could open doors & they probably made some money off of it.
Wow, you’re clearly as gullible! Not sure if you heard, but for the VERY VERY little they were paid it would only be of benefit to minimum wage earners.
What a mess. Most of them are poor with the exception of Elizabeth. Aaron has wealthy parents.
never having done anything of success himself, but sure sells himself with his parents money. Living off your parents at 38/39 is nothing to brag about.
Who dat is..?
So does Chelsea..hedge fund manager.
really? Not based on her fashion choices
I have never really understood reality shows. Target audience appears to be morons with nothing better to do.
Stay Classy Cayman
That’s Really likely with this cast of shallow wannabees….who the hell are these people, what have they got to do with Cayman’s success. .?
Wish they could hear all the people laughing at them.
What a laughable bunch of unemployed self obsessed losers.
How dare they pretend to represent Cayman…?
I think its hilarious that they al pretend to be “wealthy” aside from Chambers, the rest are wanna be’s and obviously thirsty for attention. SO SAD actually. BTW, if you have rich parents, you’re not rich, they are…
And I don’t think she’s actually that wealthy either.
Well wealthier than all the others aside from the rich kid with the rich family. She’s rich to me so there’s that.
Who told you chambers is wealthy lol !
At least she lives/owns a nice home unlike the others that rent
One of the others comes from a home in Vista Del Mar, 4:53!
comes from our owns? if it’s daddy’s money, then daddy is rich not the kids
Sorry but what has she ever done except been married to an actor? Nothing.
Secrets….BUH
Shit is an embarrassment to the entire island and the people living here.
All the ACTORS should be shunned and disgraced.
We already have enough shit for the tax haven now we just adding rocket fuel to the fire.
Most of theses Caymanian(actors) families have a lot of money so they did it for their 5 mins of fame so don’t even come at me about them wanting a career in acting.
Another stupid show
Let’s hope the educated youth of cayman are intelligent enough to laugh at this and move on without trying to become like them . Reality tv , social media has been one of the biggest mental health issues for young people today . Feeling they don’t fit in because they have not had surgical enhancements, fillers , daily treatments all to make themselves look like reality stars , it’s just gone crazy. Natural beauty and kindness not scandal and meanness towards each other should be promoted . If this is all that Selina could bring home to cayman then her years away were not that fruitful . We can do better and this should not be what Cayman wants to be represented by even if it’s only fake entertainment.
this is beyond embarrassing. I hope the world doesn’t think this small handful of pretentious and uneducated fools represents the rest of us. SMH
the real secret is how these people survive here finacially…what do they do for a living….????
you can’t survive by doing selfies on insta surely?????
isnt one character on the show a bank robber/drug dealer?
Free Casper.
Also fractured someone’s skull with a champagne bottle in the club back in the day around the same time as the balaclavas and gloves found, using Daddy’s car rental for the crime, to find one of the stolen rolex….
Believe HMP is where we got his love for tattoos whilst sitting there sweating it out.
LOL!
Who Kenneth ? Thats a different show!
car-crash tv….should be renamed grand cayman: instagram muppetts
Reality TV is so boring these days. No doubt this will be as well.