Cabinet held for first time on Little Cayman
(CNS): Members of the government’s inner circle enjoyed a three-day trip to Little Cayman last week to host both a caucus and a Cabinet meeting on the island. The official government meeting has never been held in Little Cayman before and the political trip included a number of other social events for the delegation.
Governor Martyn Roper was included on the trip, as was Speaker McKeeva Bush, who attended to assess the possibility of hosting Parliament there in the future.
Premier Wayne Panton said the meeting, held at the Little Cayman Beach Resort on Tuesday 22 March, was a historic achievement.
“My vision is for a more inclusive Cayman, one that embraces the uniqueness and diversity of all three islands,” he said. “We agreed it was important for the government to experience for themselves, as individuals and collectively, one of the world’s greatest treasures: Little Cayman. There was truly no better place to conduct our official business this week.”
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Category: Politics
THE ADEPTUS RIDICULOUS REPORT: OPERATION POINTLESS EXCURSION
A Tactical Assessment of the Cayman Islands Cabinet’s First-Ever Meeting in Little Cayman
Collated findings on yet another staggering display of Absurdistani governance in action
EXHIBIT A: STRATEGICALLY UNNECESSARY DEPLOYMENT
In a bold feat of bureaucratic misallocation, the entire Cayman Islands Cabinet has relocated itself to Little Cayman—an island with fewer than 200 residents and exactly zero major infrastructure crises—for a historic Cabinet meeting that achieved… what, exactly?
Did they finally fix the education system? No.
Did they address the ongoing economic collapse? Absolutely not.
Did they pat themselves on the back and call it progress? You bet.
Meanwhile, Cayman Brac—home to an unfinished high school and other pressing needs—was completely ignored, because why allocate resources logically when you can stage an unnecessary road trip instead?
EXHIBIT B: THE TRUE PURPOSE OF THE EXPEDITION
As per standard Absurdistani governance doctrine, a Cabinet meeting must never be about actual governance. We have collated the likely real objectives of this expedition:
1. Tropical Executive Retreat – “Emergency governance” on a remote island is much more enjoyable with a cocktail in hand.
2. Avoiding Responsibility – If the Cabinet is busy having historic meetings, they can’t be blamed for doing nothing.
3. Symbolic Photo Ops – Taking a group picture in Little Cayman counts as an achievement, right?
Alternative Hypothesis: The entire Cabinet was simply hiding from another public outcry, distracting the media while some new political disaster unfolded elsewhere.
EXHIBIT C: AN ALTERNATIVE USE FOR THE CABINET
Instead of lounging in Little Cayman, a more functional plan would have been to:
• Deploy the entire Cabinet to Cayman Brac with hammers and shovels. Make them personally assist in the construction of the new high school. Let’s see if they can even mix cement properly. (Spoiler: they cannot.)
• Hold the next meeting at Mount Trashmore. Force them to breathe in the consequences of their environmental negligence until policy reform becomes inevitable.
• Strand them in Grand Cayman’s rush-hour traffic. Perhaps experiencing their own mismanagement firsthand will prompt some level of reform. (Unlikely, but one can dream.)
EXHIBIT D: THE FINAL CONCLUSION
This “historic” Cabinet meeting will be remembered only as yet another chapter in the Grand Caymanian Theatre of Absurdistan. It is yet another monument to inefficiency, a demonstration that even the simplest acts of governance must be transformed into pointless spectacles.
But fear not! The Adeptus Ridiculous remains vigilant, collating, documenting, and convulsing in sheer mechanical rage at each new bureaucratic heresy. The day may yet come when logic prevails, but until then…
We continue to dream.
END TRANSMISSION.
As is tradition, the Speaker visited the Sunset Oceanview Beach Bar and……well you know the rest.
Leave Little Cayman alone!
Glad to see this. We are three Islands (Grand, Brac and Little) comprising the entirety of the Cayman Islands as one jurisdiction.
Unity and inclusiveness amongst all three Islands is to be encouraged — this is a hallmark of Caymanian patriotism.
God bless the Cayman Islands and, most importantly, our precious people.
God bless,
Orrie
To the seven donkehs who gave Orrie’s post a thumbs down, go get a life!
Thanks CIG for finally including Little Cayman. I know that many will say this is a waste of money but for us on Little Cayman we are overjoyed that we have finally been included. I can’t ever understand why people on Grand Cayman always feel that Cayman Brac and in particular Little Cayman should never have these opportunities.
This is a historic moment in the “Cayman Islands” and it would be extra special if Parliament could be held here very soon.
because there is like 300 people on little cayman
300 people is all it takes to gift us the likes of JonJon, Saunders, Mac, Kenny, Jay.
The majority are outnumbered .
“We agreed it was important for the government to experience for themselves” This is a common government phrase used to justify public spending when in fact it isn’t. Where is the quantified return on investment?
How is the outcome of cabinet decisions affected by where you discuss it?
Nothing can convince me of anything other than a mini vacation paid for with Public funds. We all know the premier has property in LC and is often there, so not everyone will be fooled.
They’ve ruined GC so they’re planning their destruction of LC now. LEAVE THEM ALONE!
Go fishing
That photo is a vision of health!
We must hire our MPs by the pound!
I was born on Little Cayman in 1946, I remember how it was there in the fifties, that C I Government Cabinet meeting sure made history for Little Cayman, very good, wish I could have attended.
Hopefully they got a full tour. There is much to be done:
1. Dump. Please send a new incinerator. Ship scrap metal mountain to Grand.
2. Chickens and feral cats. Please cull or relocate to Grand.
3. Water plant. Water Authority please install.
4. Flow. Please make them fix their downed lines and run lines around the entire island.
5. Digicel. Please make them provide proper broadband coverage. Ditto for Flow.
6. Gas station. Need an actual one.
7. Development Plan. Need one. Limit buildings to two floors max.
8. Power plant. Don’t know where to begin. Help.
9. RCIPS/DEH. Please send some real enforcement.
What a waste it money. All done for political gain? Or is most of land in Little Cayman now held by those who cannot run for elected office?
No political gain there, there are too few voters.
Regardless whether you think this is a nice fillip recognising we are one country you can’t say there’s any political gain here.
Petrol price over $6 a gallon in Grand Cayman.
Also
MPs having a little frolic excursion out to Little Cayman to play dress up cabinet.
What a waste of government money…
Poor Twin Otter mussa been struggling that day.
What a waste of taxpayer $$$$
The Little Engine That Could.