Dealing with paedophilia
‘Reality Strikes’ writes: Errington Webster is the latest in a recent spate of paedophiles brought to justice, but we know from Marl Road gossip and knowledge of the wider world that there are many more out there. In every country there are adults, mostly men, who find children sexually attractive, and while the public generally howls for their blood and calls them monsters, we have to keep in mind that the goal for any society is to protect the children from being molested in the first place.
Step one is to educate the children about what is acceptable and what is not and then have clear and foolproof ways that they can report this. This means an expanded age-appropriate sex education programme in all schools. This does not mean that small children will be taught about sex but will be taught that if an adult makes them feel uncomfortable, then that is not right and they should tell someone, even if that person has made them promise not to.
In other words, we must empower our children from a young age to know that their body belongs to them, remembering that paedophiles are almost always someone in their lives that they are supposed to trust – an uncle, father, family friend, minister, coach, teacher, etc.
Step two is to educate the population at large about what is and what is not acceptable, and what signs to look for in their children or a relative, friend, etc, who wants to spend a little too much time alone with them. People must know that child pornography is sexual abuse of the children in those pictures; you are not excused because you are not doing those things – other people are doing those things because you like to look.
Within step two is for society to say loudly and clearly that if a grown man has sex with a 15-year-old girl, that is statutory rape, however old she looks and whatever ‘come-ons’ she gives him, and he will go to jail as a sexual predator.
Step three is to deal with paedophiles, and here is where it gets more controversial. Anyone found guilty of having any kind of sexual contact with children must be punished and sent to jail because the children involved are victims who will suffer psychological damage for years.
However, the much better outcome is for the sexual act to have never occurred in the first place. No one wakes up in the morning and decides to be a paedophile. While psychiatrists are still arguing whether the condition is nature or nurture, it is recognised as a strong erotic urge that can be controlled. BUT, and this is a great big ‘but’, they might need help from trained professionals with medication (in some cases chemical castration) and/or therapy.
The important reasoning here is that the tendency to paedophilia is not a crime unless it is acted upon, and while some may try to justify the act to themselves or to compartmentalise their lives to the point where they can deny it (which seems to be what happened in the case of Errington Webster), there may well be others out there who fight this battle with their internal demon daily.
In Germany for the past decade or so, the government has been supporting a free, confidential outreach programme for paedophiles called “Dunkelfeld” (dark field). Its aim is to prevent child sex abuse and it targets paedophiles who are not facing criminal charges. There is plenty of information about it on the internet for anyone who cares to look.
The critical points for such a programme are that 1) paedophiles must know what they are and that what they desire is wrong, 2) they must voluntarily seek help, and 3) that help must be readily available and free of charge and, most importantly, completely confidential.
There are going to be those who say that the public should know if someone has these urges but if the programme is not 100% confidential, no one will come forward.
The question for our government, like all governments, is whether they will fund preventative measures such as education, community outreach and something like the Dunkelfeld project. The financial benefits for government are that, if it is successful, they will save money on police investigations and court costs, as well as time spent by social services and all other government entities involved.
The benefits for potential victims saved from a lifetime of anguish is immeasurable.
Category: Crime, Crime Prevention, Viewpoint
@ 25/06/2017 at 4:41 pm
Basic thinkers and I have never gotten along.
You are free to call it whatever you want but your opinion does not equate to reality.
My original question is genuine and I believe most have never considered the issue from my forwarded point of view.
As for “people growing tired of countering silly arguments” – as a regular CNS participant you know full well that is B.S. on your part, plus this topic is far from “silly”.
Child molestation is no joking matter and I would never frivolously extend a discussion thereon just for kicks.
Personally, I believe most readers; have never approached the matter from my perspective, are initially outraged and taken aback by their misinterpretation, but eventually calm down and see the logic in what is actually being expressed.
At that point there is no place for anger, only difficult and perhaps uncomfortable consideration.
– Who
It is always easier to speak about something when you are completely removed from the matter. I will not suggest that you nor your loved one have not experienced any type of this abuse; but, some people have. Your logic is not misguided but it is certainly diluted. If your child was exploited by one of these high society types then I would venture your tone would change from “oh well this happens everywhere” to something quite a bit more pointed.
That particular post of mine (Jimmy Saville) was not one of “oh well this happens everywhere”, but simply a rejection of the expressed claim of child abuse being especially common and basically tolerated in the Cayman Islands as opposed to elsewhere.
Some posters needed a reminder of their own cultural shortcoming as they erroneously assessed the perceived of others.
That’s all.
– Who
Comments in this thread suggesting child-molestation is especially rampant and or tolerated in the Cayman Islands is rather interesting considering the background of what appears to be the majority of CNS contributors.
Two words; “Jimmy Saville”.
That famous, wealthy, and very public figure “enjoyed” DECADES of countless despicable child molestation with the SUPPORT (aiding and abetting) of hospitals, nurses, TV executives, politicians, social workers,the police, government officials and arguably, the general public.
(I am not making this up – do the research.)
Yes, we all remember the inside “jokes” about pervy Uncle Jim with the too short shorts.
Furthermore, Saville was by no means a one-off in terms of pedo celebs of that nation.
Btw, isn’t there also a loosely acknowledged investigation involving a particular obese past Prime Minister surrounding a horrific child sex ring?
Most likely that will be covered up though…by current day investigators, no less.
What does the above say about the culture in general?
Anyway, just another case of reminding others of their selective memory syndrome.
– Who
* Spare us the predictable suddenly politically-correct and balanced replies. You failed to offer them when Cayman society was being painted as uniquely and inherently flawed in this regard…so keep your hollow words now.
Child molestation is a problem everywhere, including the Cayman Islands.
No shit sherlock
If you follow the Quran literally then child molestation isn’t a problem but a way of life in some countries. This is the world we live in today.
Especially in the Cayman Islands none the less. Do the maths, per capita. Jeez reading posts from Caymanians, mainly women, seems at least half have been molested as a child.
We need to start somewhere and at some point; why not right here right now?
“the best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. the second best time is now.”
There are three sides to a story, there’s my side, your side and judgment side. Problems existing how can they be solved correctly. We have rich and poor, love and hate. Who’s the wise one.
You seriously need therapy.
Can’t tell you who the wise one’s are but, we can point out the idiots.
What is your point? And how are you able to compare sexual active consenting adults to preadolescent children? Homosexuality is not just being attractive to ones’s same sex but also a sharing of one’s love.
Preadolescent children are not capable in the eyes of society and the law to consent to these decisions since they have not even matured fully and have their whole live’s ahead of them.
Instead of beating around the bush you could stay on topic or instead of playing semantics actually come out with what you think you’re trying to say.
Sexual harassment at Gov workplace was reported to superior a few years ago. Superior blew it off as “culture” of the department. I was too scared/anxious to push forward though I had evidence. I left the job but he didn’t.
Let me help you all. Pedophiles will exist as long as the following things continue to go ungoverned;
1) internet/porn
2) movies and music with sexually explicit content
3)the revealing clothing women wear
4) events like batabanoo and pirates week with their dry public dry sex and costumes getting smaller
Yes it is sick for a man to lay with a child it is one of the most if not THE MOST sickest things a man can do, but get to the root of it…where and when and how did that idea enter his head? Our society continues to treat sex very carelessly and fail to see how serious sex is. As pleasurable as it is IT IS NO JOKE!!! Why do u think men and women are so covered and so conservative in certian middle eastern countries. As messed up as those people are with their extremism thats one thing they got right.
Middle eastern countries have pedophiles too. Consenting adults and their choices in how they display their sexual behavior is irrelevant to the sexual interest of an adult in a child. Your argument is invalid.
Right! And mass murderers will continue to exist so long as violent video games are developed because before we had these games to play the Earth was the most peaceful place in the universe with no murders or crime influenced by violent video games!
Violence IS instilled through playing violent video games (among other things). Especially in the developing teens’ brains…
Can’t deny it. Sorry, but violent music, games, movies, shows etc. all have serious implications on the human psyche. You need to educate yourself before going on a rant about something that is a really serious topic.
There is no correlation between video games and violence, there are only stupid people. Music and video games influences violence just about as much as arts and crafts do.
You literally have no idea what you’re talking about.
Video games TV and movies desensitize viewers to graphic violence and gore that normally would be reserved for war vets with PTSD. We are bombarded by media competing for the most sensational and horrific third person coverage of global events – it normalizes these horrors over time in a way that is different from living these experiences in the first person.
I guess that’s what happened to Caligula.
I completely understand your point but, simulated combat will only immerse you to a certain degree and certainly will not give you PTSD unlike the real thing. You can’t simulate the smell of death in a video game which almost every soldier will tell you sticks with them for the rest of their lives.
Video games of all things is the last thing we need to worry about “desensitizing” our perception of war.
Imagine a smell, like a thick sweet smell, but if you inhale too long you get the scent of vomit and feces. If you are really lucky, and the body has been scattered, you get the extra bonus of a garbage smell on top of that from stomach contents. Afghanistan, good times, good times.
Oh my God. It’s the Seventh Day Taliban. You want someone to “govern” the internet, movies, music, women’s clothing and parades. Yikes. I bet you curse every day not being born in either the Victorian era or modern day Saudi Arabia.
lol. oh my god.
Hate to be the bearer of bad news. But muhammad’s wife was 6 years old (yes, you read that right) and consummated the marriage at 9.
So uhhhhhhhhhhh. I don’t think you should be using the middle east and Muslims as your example of anti pedo-ness.
Dragons are bad, just ask this here dragon. *grabs sides laughing.
How old was Mary?
You don’t know Islam. It is important to note that Aisha was not any ordinary woman. She was very intellectual and spoke her own mind. Muhammed at couldn’t control her mouth.
You also need to understand according to nature, a lady becomes a woman at the TIME OF PUBERTY. Its been like that for hundreds of years. Aisha was a lady of intelligence and was a lady. At 6 she was not ready because she didnt reach puberty. At 9 she did and hence the marriage was consummated.
The modern day West can’t understand these things. The put an age limit for when a girl is considered mature. The state of Texas has 14. One next place in the West their law-makers set the age for 16. One next place has it at 18 and so on … the UK and US societies don’t follow the nature way, and so folks quick to judge easily condemn Muslim societies.
We also have a cultural blindspot with respect to the sexual abuse of boys by grown women. How many boys “boast” that they lost their virginity to nannies or older women when they pre-teens and the woman was and adult? We have a lot of work to do as a community to address our demons and protect ALL of our children.
Very true. My husband told me he lost his virginity when he was 10 years old by a 40+ year old woman. He still thinks she did nothing wrong but when it’s the other way around he condemns the man yet sees no harm in what happened to him.
About 2 months ago I witness one late night off a private road in George Town,driving by a gathering of cars (maybe was a party not sure), a pick up truck parked off in the bushes, and I was surprise to see a little girl who must have been in the age range of 6 to 8 years old was in the dark with two grown men. How I saw this… I was passing a corner and was driving slow. My car lights were on bright.I know a girl when I see one. The girl was no taller than the mens waist line and she was facing the mans pants. If you saw what I saw you can easily connect the dots, and pedophilia came to mind. Somebodys daughter was out in the middle of the night and should be in bed. It was after 12 oclock. I was surprised! What is this world coming to!
What surprised me is that you made no mention of you contacting the police to report this.
That’s why pedophilia is rampant in the Caribbean. People look the other way and the child is left alone with their pain, with no rights, with no protection.
An adult witness could tremendously help a child in need.
I speak as someone who was sexually molested as a child.
Amen from another.
Did you report it? Let’s get together and report. If you see something, say something. Report all crimes once you see it.
Everyone has a camera on their cell phone. Take pictures/video as evidence. That is what saved this little girl.
Call the police and submit your pictures and videos next time you happen upon something.
Did you call 911? That is what a responsible, caring and concerned civilian would do. I would!
You know what is also the most disturbing part of this. Anthony Eden spews hatred for the lesbian and gay community yet not one word from him about this bike creature or anything about the problems of cayman with child molestation
Sorry vile creature not bike creature. My mistake!!!
Omg you are as bad as they are. Dis u try to stop it? Did you call the police? You witnessed a horrific crime and didn’t so a damn thing
How does pedophilia differ from homosexuality?
Both represent an instinctive orientation toward what is an undeniable deviation from the naturally intended primary function of human sex.
Lastly, how can one be defined as a “psychological disorder” and the other not?
In fact, I believe the other is currently being celebrated the world over this week – parades et al.
Btw, up until a few decades ago both were categorised as psychological disorders.(Do the research.)
It was only due to political pressure that homosexuality was delisted as such.
Therefore, pedophilia is also but a protest or march away from acceptance or a de-listing. No?
– Who
* Respondents are urged to fully grasp the above prior to submitting a reply.
Hint: “Orientation”.
CNS: Paedophilia = victims. Homosexual sex between consenting adults = no victims. See the difference?
The fact that you think grown men having non-consensual sex with minors is similar to homosexuality is baffling and outright outrageous.
And please, for the love of God, stop pretending you’re an intellectual. You might have an ambitious vocabulary, but your stupidity still permeates nevertheless.
1.) You too have missed the mark with your reply to my post.
Kindly reread, this time taking the time to understand the actual issue at hand, and feel free to try again.
2.) Happy to hear you believe I am pretending to be an intellectual.
3.) As for stupidity, some argue that is the fundamental factor in the failure of reading comprehension.
– Who
You are such a disgusting, arrogant bastard. The pompass way you display your aggrogance and facetiousness by comparing grown adults who sexually prey on children AGAINST their will – violating their little bodies and causing their young minds emotional tormoil to grown men or women who have consensual sex and who love each other is proof that you are a complete asshole. Take your twisted agenda and shove it.
Sorry CNS. I know you’ll censor me but I felt compelled to say something to this one.
Ah boy.
Want to try again sir / madam?
Your emotional response is typical and common, however, it is unfortunately based on a misinterpretation of the issue at hand.
I am not discussing or comparing the act of sex in either category, but speaking to the variance of psychological categorisation of the respective sexual orientations.
For the intents and purposes of “sex” (i.e. sexual reproduction via the functions of the sexual organs of human beings), shouldn’t all variants of sexual orientation apart from heterosexual be categorised as a disorder of some sort?
– Who
* Modern and enlightened speeches about “love” and “freedom” and “choice” need not reply. We are not having that discussion today. I am focusing on the fundamentals.
** In light of the significant strides and “progress” achieved to date, and against the backdrop of the above discussion, how long before we see public and bold pushes in “support” of the other demonised and arguably ill-listed sexual orientations currently regarded as “psychological disorders”?
After all, based on the socially erected status quo, it could be argued that pedophilia, based on the rate of occurrence for example, is a naturally occurring sexual orientation (e.g. “One was born that way.”), therefore to condemn it will eventually be regarded as immoral or inhumane.
*** Let the record show, I condemn the sexual molestation of children. The primary function of this dialogue is to dissect, compare and highlight the glaring inconsistencies regarding current societal trends and norms as it concerns human sexual orientation.
**** I understand many, if not most, will become overcome with emotion rendering them unable to grasp the concept at hand, react angrily and “cuss me out” – and that is fine.
This important discussion is simply not for you.
Dear CNS,
Respectfully, I would see the difference IF we were debating the same issue(s).
Correction: Pedophilia = sexual feelings directed toward children. Homosexuality = sexual attraction to people of one’s own sex.
Your definitions were of the acting upon of the aforementioned sexual orientations.
I am NOT referring to the actual act of sex in either case, which clearly would be molestation and consensual respectively.
Again, the hint and operative term of my original post is; orientation.
E.g. A homosexual man may find me attractive but nothing can come of it because I do not share his orientation. Nevertheless, that does not negate or impact his sexual orientation in any way.
– Who
Screw who…
Sorry, not a homosexual.
😉
– Who
You’re not even being a critical thinker at this point…
My god, if CNS no longer had anonymous comments, I’m certain you’d be too embarrassed to make such stupid and pointless remarks publicly and proudly.
Ad hominem response. I am shocked. Not.
– Who
Who the heck makes you an expert at everything Who?
Try go sit down sometimes. You on CNS is like leaving a kid with a pencil in a room alone.
Go have those discussions with Frank or Steve.
At least you will be caught up all day and confuse each other since the world is only Black and everyone else does not matter.
Not an expert at everything – that would be God … or Google.
Appreciate the unintended compliment though.
Lastly, that was a horrible and cringeworthy play of the race card on your part. You really need to up your game, playa.
– Who
Well I just typed God into google and and it doesn’t have anything about any of them being an expert.
What’s up with that?
And what’s the definition of someone who constantly seeks attention by posting extreme and inflammatory (but anonymous) remarks on his local media’s forum?
The fact that you and your friends have relegated yourselves to viciously attacking me, in the absence of valid counters or input, confirms the points raised are worth debating.
Thank you.
– Who
No, the point made is that you are an attention seeker who simply posts incendiary stuff to stir the very responses you complain about. People grow tired of countering constant silly arguments. Like a parent who patiently explains stuff to a child when they keep saying “why”, they eventually realise the kid is saying it for their own amusement, not caring what answers they receive.
Who — is left-handedness a disorder? It would be by your logic. But, of course, we know that left-handedness is a natural variation, just like homosexuality. Homosexual behaviours have been observed in over 1,500 species, and may even serve a critical evolutionary function by supporting interdependent support networks.
This would all help, but we really need to address the denial of the disproportionately high quantity of abusive males and sexual predators circulating in such a small sample population. The abuse is not limited to paedophilia. Spousal/gf abuse and other violence are much more prevalent and permissive. All stemming from perceived bread-winner privilege, addiction, and an XL helping of bygone-era, fundamentalist-fueled misogyny. It’s deeply engrained here, in all the wrong ways. Mr. Webster is just another manifestation of this, as was the waitress-rapist, the little boy van stalker (still at large), and many others that elude detection – but are surely destined for some future trial. For proof of the tolerance of notorious confirmed male abusers, we need look no further than our recent election results. We have some serious denial to work through before we start blaming children for not saying “no/stop”.
Breadwinner privilege is a thing of the past. In the local Caymanian population, women are the breadwinners. Look at the offices, banks, offshore companies, there is a disproportionate amount of women overpowering men. Men remain in the higher paying positions as they have been stereotypical, but those positions are few amongst the sea of women in the workforce.
It’d help if we could discourage victim-blaming and victim-shaming too.
I know a lawyer has to present his client’s defence as best he can, but I hope Mr McField felt some shame as he sought to traduce Mr Webster’s victim.
And some Cayman bloggers would do well to remember that a child victim of a sexual predator who accepts gifts or inducements from that predator is still a victim as a result – that’s kind of what ‘grooming’ means.
The list will only have thise people who have been convicted and not the many who get away with it.
well technically a paedophilia is someone who is attracted to girls before puberty.
A hebophile is someone who is attracted to girls from 13 on.
So, if your going to write an article. At least use the correct terminology.
CNS: Merriam-Webster: Definition of pedophilia (American spelling) : “sexual perversion in which children are the preferred sexual object; specifically : a psychological disorder in which an adult has sexual fantasies about or engages in sexual acts with a prepubescent child.”
You will find that all dictionaries have something similar.
lol fail
Can we just discuss what the article says. It is well thought out and raises some serious points. If you have nothing of substance to add, just be quiet.
There are so many unreported cases here as they involve family members and parents don’t want the resulting scandal, so the vile paedophiles get away with it. This has to stop, no matter whether they are uncles, stepfathers, cousins or whatever the families must bring justice to the children, root out these animals and have them put away.
this is ever so true. It is time to expose these sons of b – – – – – s. Many lives and families have been destroyed because of this of covering up to save face. Yet the victim has to live with it all their unhappy life.
I say castrate anyone caught doing it.
And blind them too….jus’ sayin’
As someone who was “molested” as a child I write to applaud your viewpoint and to add the following:
Education for parents is critical! I told my mother and she chose to not believe me and called me her 10year old a liar and storyteller. I cannot describe to you the scar that has left on my soul.
Teachers interjection is critical! I told my high school teacher who recognized that my behavior might have something to do with trauma at home. She did refer me to a counselor who let me know that there was very little she could do but listen. The Teacher I told proceeded to tell other teachers who then just treated me with pity. Maybe things are different now, but back then that’s what happened to me.
The person that I was suppose to be was murdered because of sexual abuse by a family member! That’s the way I feel about what happened to me. I left home as soon as I could get a job and I have never been back. But your family will always be in your life. So as an adult I chose therapy and it has helped me. But many days I wonder who would I have become had my first self not been murdered.
I ask that other people that have been abused please share a bit of their story instead of the usual responses that are written to this issue.
Share it anonymously on social media as there are so many children in our Islands that have been impacted for life.
I am so sorry for the trauma you had been subjected to. I wish people had fought for you. All the best as you deal with the horrors of your past. Big hug!
This is so true. I never shared it because I feared the result you got. To this day very few know. I battle so many emotions and constantly have to reassure myself. I know I cannot change it, so I live on. I could tell people now, 30 years later, but to what gain? I battle and internalize and it is my fight. Never easy but life goes on. And so do I.
What ever happened to that Cayman Sex Abuser Registry page that was running in facebook a couple of years back? that named and show the culprits?
it was under investigation by police and i think got shut down, probably the only thing that i supported about Sandra, doing something the law should of done a long time ago.
Thanks, and I agree!
When it comes to infidelity a lot of people out there will always blame the female for seducing the male, and when cases like the Webster one arise they still extend the blame to the female, even though she’s just a child. This culture of the “poor defenseless male” being seduced by the female needs to end. These grown men need to be held responsible for their actions, and when it comes to fooling around with underage girls, they need to know they will be punished severely.
the law also needs to be amended in ways that make it easier to bring these sexual abusers to justice.
It also needs to ensure that an expat making a referral for such a disclosure, does not find themselves with an unrenewed contract.
This means intelligent parents.
how bout we have a freaking paedophile list? having these monsters walk around the dark cause we dont know who is one, yes they found guilty but what happens after they get out? therapy is bullsh*t these people dont need to be treated they need life or even worse. we dont know cause they isnt a list, make a list and put it out to public this is a vital information we need in the community
I take your point but that list would consist of convicted pedophiles only. What about the ones who stay under the radar for years and are never caught or convicted? I list would not suffice in this scenario.
Not all persons with inclination act on them. Unless that person take steps to have others hold him or her account (through a professional or other support system) they will fail and give in to the urges. This is true for anything consuming urges.