Election office extends opening hours for voter registration
(CNS): Officials from the election office have said its hours of operation will be extended over the coming days until the deadline for voters to register on 15 January. There are still thousands of people in Cayman who are eligible to vote who have not yet chosen to sign up to exercise their democratic rights and the office is urging everyone who is qualified to take action and get their names on the register and take part in the 30 April General Election. The office will be open tomorrow Saturday 4 January and until 7pm from Monday 6 January to Friday 10 January.
According to the latest register published on New Years Day there are currently 23,829 people registered to vote and increase of just 300 since October. But with the latest ESO figures indicating a Caymanian population of around 40,000 from an estimated population of about 90,000 people currently living here, there are well-over 10,000 adults entitled to vote that have not registered.
For more information on how to register visit elections.ky or call 949-8047. you can also register to vote on line here.
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Category: Local News
Here’s the revised version incorporating all the refinements:
Adeptus Ridiculous: A Schizophrenic Dance of Democracy
“Ah, democracy—the Imperium’s most chaotic experiment. A fragile construct, forever teetering between inclusion and exclusion. And here, on these sun-kissed islands, the voter registration process performs a dance so discordant it could only be described as schizophrenic at best and paradoxically paranoid at worst.”
The Machinery of Division
Extended hours for voter registration—an olive branch offered with one hand while the other fortifies the barriers of exclusion. It is a system designed not to empower but to confuse, not to include but to divide. The Adeptus Ridiculous observes with dismay as this flawed mechanism sputters, powered by the same paranoia that fuels bureaucracy across the Imperium.
Consider the paradox: the very act of extending registration hours implies an attempt to be inclusive, yet the criteria for who may register are as labyrinthine as the bureaucratic nightmares of the Administratum. Born here? Excellent. Not born here? Prepare to justify your very existence. And now, in a move that could only be described as bureaucratic overreach with a flair for absurdity, the Election Office demands the birth certificates of both parents. Why stop at two parents? Surely a great-grandparent’s notarized genetic map might add a little more spice to this ever-growing pile of red tape.
Paranoia Masquerading as Protection
What drives this madness? Fear. Paranoia that those deemed “outsiders” might dilute the purity of governance. It’s as if the architects of this system believe the simple act of voting is a contagion that must be quarantined. The result? A paranoid framework masquerading as protection, one that ensures the democratic process remains as exclusive as an Ordo Hereticus conclave—an organization notorious for rooting out heresy with all the subtlety of an orbital bombardment.
The real tragedy lies in the consequences. This overreach doesn’t just frustrate—it disenfranchises. It alienates those who might bring fresh ideas and new perspectives, perpetuating a cycle of exclusion that only weakens governance over time.
The Stewards of the Status Quo
And who are the stewards of this farce? The Progressives People’s Movement (PPM) and the Unity People’s Movement (UPM), both united in their determination to maintain the status quo. With all the subtlety of a Genestealer Cult—masters of infiltration and manipulation—and the reckless impulsivity of Ork logic, they’ve fortified a system that serves their own ends. Why? Because allowing the emergence of new, competent, and capable candidates would expose their weaknesses and shortcomings in very short order. Worse yet for them, such change would spell the end of the jingoism and parochialism that they so carefully stoke to keep their grasp on power.
Extended Hours for a Select Few
Extended hours are a patch on a gaping wound. The Adeptus Ridiculous asks: “Who are these hours truly for?” Are they for the disenfranchised, juggling work and life, or for the privileged, who can saunter in at their convenience? The schizophrenia of this approach lies in its dual nature: it offers the illusion of accessibility while perpetuating the reality of exclusion.
A Warning from the Adeptus
To those who engineer such systems, the Adeptus Ridiculous issues this caution: paranoia will not preserve your power, nor will it shield you from the vox-populi’s wrath. A democracy rooted in exclusion is doomed to collapse under the weight of its contradictions.
“Schizophrenic, paranoid, and paradoxical,” concludes the Adeptus Ridiculous, its mechadendrites convulsing with exasperation. “This system is not democracy—it’s a farce dressed in ceremonial robes, powered by Promethium only an Ork would love, destined to crumble like a hive spire built on lies, fear, apartheid and corruption.
Parents of new Voters regertering will need Birth Certificates of Both, even if the parents are also registered Voters.
The birth certificates of parents born after 27 March 1972 are IRRELEVANT.
But let’s not let a little law get in the way of bureaucratic overreach.
It may be a democratic right to vote, but the eligibility to run for office is far from it. Rules in place to effectively keep the current cesspool of politicians for life have taken care of that. I am a Caymanian by status, not even my Caymanian children can run for office. The rules require you to have a Caymanian grandparent. So no, I will not be voting for the same corrupt government that regards me as a foreigner because I do not have a Caymanian grandparent, but wants my vote.
That is called Apartheid Cayman style.
Is this news to you? Or did you make a conscious decision to move to a land where all of this information was readily available before you moved to the best place you’ve ever had the privilege of living?
Thanks, I needed a ‘good-morning’ chuckle. I cherish not being able to walk the beach safely, drive without a serious fear of getting hit, buying groceries for reasonable prices, see evidence of derelict buildings standing for years decaying, trusting CIG to have transparent and accurate finances, elect ethical and moral Ministers. These are just a few of the benefits of staying in the “best place I have ever had the priviege of living. For perspective: I moved here in 1986 and yes – Cayman was a paradise! That can’t be said anymore.
You miss the point completely and no it certainly is not the best place at alll, but it is a good one. The point that you so conveniently missed is that there is absolutely no need for a law that fundamentally opposes who is Caymanian when it comes to running for office. Ancestry is not relevant, if the law states a status holder is a Caymanian that should include all the rights that go with it. It is simply wrong to want my vote but bar me from running for office, but we all know why that is.
Fix data protection issues related to the electoral register. I do not want criminals globally to have online access to my residential address. First Class Civil Service is all talk…but has done nothing to fix this issue
So they can publish my home address on the internet? Help no.
Everyone in Cayman has your home address anyway, paranoid android.
Could not find any person named “Dart” on the Electoral Register.
Are you confused as to where Dart lives? This is not the “gotcha” that you were hoping for, I assure you. In fact, it proves my point: anyone in Cayman that wants to know where you live already does, registered or not.
Also can’t register while Status Board dithers.
Voting it’s a false illusion if choice aka waste of time.
Overtime pay justification. Yahoo.
The 6 R/O’s only get a small stipend. No O/T or any other perks.
You know who they are and go and knock their door!
At this point, I am far more concerned with who decides to run for public office. I want to vote for the best in the country, not the least bad in my constituency…
To vote for what? No thanks.
To vote against the port of course.
I’ll be doing a write in vote against beach vendors come referendum day.