Burglars make off with large electronic hauls
(CNS): Two electronic stores in George Town were broken into last week, and thieves made off with thousands of dollars worth of goods. Police said the first commercial burglary was reported to them at about 9:40am on Monday by a store on Eastern Avenue. The burglars broke in through the front door and stole dozens of items, a list of which was supplied by police and is published below, including gaming consoles, firesticks and drones valued in total at around CI$20,000.
Then on Tuesday at about 9am, another report was made to the RCIPS by an electronics store on Crewe Road, where the burglars had gained entry again by breaking through the door of the premises. Another haul of electronic goods, including mobile phones, laptops, tablets and a sum of cash, were stolen but the RCIPS had not stated the value of that break-in.
Officers are investigating both incidents and wish to speak to anyone who may have witnessed the break-ins or has any information relating to them. They are also asking members of the community who see any online listings for electronics or shops selling electronics that appear suspicious, such as items listed at prices that are too good to be true, to contact the police.
Businesses are also being encouraged to ensure they have working CCTV activated at all times and adequately secure their premiers. When selling high-value items, such as electronics and jewellery, it is important to ensure detailed stock records are kept and that items are removed from display cabinets and stored securely at the close of business each day.
People are also urged not to handle stolen goods. Anyone who dishonestly receives stolen goods or dishonestly helps in their retention, removal, disposal or realisation by or for the benefit of another person can be prosecuted and liable to imprisonment for up to fourteen years if convicted.
Those who can help the police with information relating to these high-value break-ins are asked to call 911 or the George Town Police Station at 949-4222. Anonymous tips can be provided to the RCIPS Confidential Tip Line at 949-7777 or the website. Tips can also be submitted anonymously via the Cayman Crime Stoppers website.
- Fascinated
- Happy
- Sad
- Angry
- Bored
- Afraid
Official Correspondence to His Excellency, the Ambassador of Absurdistan (Jamaica)
Re: A Commendation of Excellence in the Art of Social Disintegration
Your Excellency,
I write to you today with unwavering admiration for the latest, most triumphant achievement in your long-standing campaign to reduce the Cayman Islands to a state of splendid dysfunction. While many have marveled at your economic sabotage, your bureaucratic inefficiencies, and your political erosion of democratic norms, I must say—your most impressive accomplishment yet is the masterful collapse of the social order itself.
The Grand Success of Educational Sabotage
For years, your operatives have carefully undermined the local education system, ensuring that a vast number of young Caymanians emerge into adulthood with neither skills nor prospects, primed for frustration, disillusionment, and ultimately, criminality. Now, at last, the fruits of your labor are on full display!
• Brazen burglaries at electronic stores, carried out with the efficiency and precision that should have been fostered in trade schools.
• An increasingly emboldened criminal class, whose sense of consequence has been systematically eroded, thanks to law enforcement policies better suited to tea-drinking than policing.
• A police force so unresponsive that one might believe their primary function is composing press releases and appealing to the public for information after every crime.
It is a testament to your unwavering commitment to social collapse that even the most basic expectation of security has become a relic of the past.
Lawlessness: The True Absurdistani Export
But of course, your influence does not stop at mere economic ruination and educational sabotage—no, your magnum opus is lawlessness itself.
We in the Cayman Islands are mere amateurs in the grand theatre of disorder. If we wish to glimpse our future, we need only look toward the Absurdistani homeland.
Ah, what a masterpiece of mayhem!
• A murder rate that would make a war zone blush. Truly, the people of Absurdistan have perfected the fine art of conflict resolution through ballistic diplomacy.
• A justice system that ensures criminals remain on the streets long enough to become local legends. Why incarcerate when you can simply shuffle the paperwork until the case disappears?
• A police force so deeply embedded in corruption that distinguishing officer from outlaw is an academic exercise.
• A thriving economy of extortion, robbery, and general banditry—where the entrepreneurial spirit is not stifled but redirected into alternative business ventures, such as armed heists and ransom negotiations.
Truly, your Excellency, the Cayman Islands have much to learn if we are to fully embrace the glorious chaos of Absurdistan. But fear not! Your agents continue their tireless work, dismantling every last thread of stability, ensuring that one day, we too may achieve such prestigious levels of dysfunction.
A Final Salute to Your Excellence in Destruction
Your Excellency, I raise my pen in awestruck reverence for your continued efforts to mold these islands into a mirror image of your great homeland. The day is surely approaching when Caymanians will awake to find themselves fully absorbed into the grand Absurdistani tradition—where education is meaningless, crime is an industry, and the only certainty is that nothing will function as intended.
With boundless admiration and deepest respect,
The Secretary to the Ambassador of Absurdistan
Patron of Social Collapse, Chronicler of Dysfunction, and Diplomat of Lawlessness
“Anyone who dishonestly receives stolen goods or dishonestly helps in their retention, removal, disposal or realisation … can be prosecuted and liable to imprisonment for up to fourteen years if convicted”
Oh don’t make me laugh. It’s all just part of the culture.
Electronic stores without Electronic security. Oops
Oh Yes containers to nowhere and when the authorities are called to search or to inspect these outbound containers when they feel like, their brethren are less than enthusiastic to halt “dey Bizzness” and merely state on equivocally ” Caymanians have Insurance” Sadly because of this favoritism and corruption by our imported help and new Caymanians other scavengers from elsewhere have got in this Action of Exporting Stolen Goods and it has become a wealth builder and profitable business back in their homelands aaaah boy poor old Cayman being fleeece at every turn all we hear from our disgusting political SCUM is Hearso promises and Aftertalk pledges about what they’re going to do for Cayman. Save your vote Cayman!
So electronic stores that do not have an electronic alarm or cameras! Bet they sold them though.
Too cheap to actually USE the devices they sell to protect their own business! Penny wise . . .