Love trumps hate
Dominic Dyer writes: Love trumps hate. This double entendre that rose to prominence during President Donald Trump’s 2016 presidential campaign is something that many people of the Cayman Islands need to be reminded of.
Since Justice Anthony Smellie’s landmark decision last Friday to legalise same sex marriage, the support that members of the public have shown for the judgement in favour of Chantelle Day and Vickie Bodden Bush has been heartwarming. But it is the bigotry shown by a substantial proportion of our population that has deeply troubled me.
While I applaud Governor Martyn Roper for publicly expressing his support for “equals rights for all” as well as the Foreign and Commonwealth Office for welcoming the decision, it is the rhetoric from our MLAs as well as members of the public that I take great issue with.
Premier Alden McLaughlin released a statement on Wednesday expressing that he instructed the attorney general to appeal the decision citing “the telephone calls, WhatsApp and text messages” that he received from those who feel “wronged by the decision”.
This makes me question whether this appeal is motivated by the premier being concerned about the public’s opinion of him and his government as a whole, with elections coming up in two years, rather than the future legal implications that this decision may have, which is the argument he attempts to make.
However, Alden McLaughlin is not the only MLA I take issue with. A private motion seeking review of the judgment was put forward by Arden McLean and seconded by Anthony Eden, two politicians who are notorious for their opposition to the LGBT community, with Anthony Eden previously labelling homosexuals as “wicked and immoral”.
In addition, Education Minister Juliana O’Connor-Connolly referred to last Friday as “Black Friday” and strongly encouraged members of the public to attend the private marriage ceremony between Day and Bodden Bush, in order to protest and disrupt the ceremony.
I find it extremely difficult to fathom why these members of the Legislative Assembly, who supposedly have our nation’s best interests at heart, feel the urge to appeal this long overdue decision that simply grants homosexual couples the same right to marriage that heterosexual couples have had.
While education inspectors recently rated Prospect Primary School as “satisfactory”, failing to receive a “good” rating, and Savannah Primary School was rated as “weak” in the majority of areas inspected, the MLAs postponed the day’s business to allow the aforementioned private member’s motion.
I find it difficult to believe that the most pressing issue for government to deal with at the moment is to deny the granting of equal rights to all Caymanians, regardless of their sexual orientation.
In addition to this, the photos of protestors outside the Legislative Assembly and the comments that I have seen on social media have repulsed me. While I appreciate the fact that opinions differ, and people have the right to freedom of speech in order to express these differing opinions, I have no empathy for those calling for the death of homosexuals.
It is difficult to understand why people are so strongly opposed to the granting of equal rights to their fellow country people. The granting of equal rights to homosexuals does not detract from the rights that heterosexuals previously had, rather they are simply being granted the same rights that they had previously been denied.
It has no impact on the lives of others, rather it just allows individuals such as Miss Day and Miss Bodden Bush to be recognised as each other’s spouse, giving them and their daughter the right to a private and family life.
The government and citizens of our country have much more pressing issues to deal with than appealing the granting of equal human rights to our fellow Caymanians, rights that are enjoyed by citizens of almost every developed nation in the world.
The government could focus on improving the standard of education in our public schools, or the much-needed implementation of sufficient infrastructure for commuters to and from the eastern districts.
Likewise, Caymanians could put their time and energy towards helping the members of our community living in severe poverty, or protest more significant issues such as the proposed cruise berthing facility, that will have detrimental economic and environmental impacts on our islands.
I would like to encourage the individuals in opposition to Justice Smellie’s decision to rethink their malevolent actions and words and remind them of one thing:
Love trumps hate.
Category: Viewpoint
Reminder to allies to please use your privilege to uplift the voices of LGBTQ+ Caymanians rather than centering your own. We exist and we can speak for ourselves. CNS, please invite actual queer people to speak on this platform instead of recruiting straight people to speak for us. Would love to see something featuring all of the amazing queer Caymanian women who have made progress in Cayman possible.
CNS: We did not recruit Mr Dyer to write this or contact him in any capacity. Like all our viewpoints, it was sent to us unsolicited. We have an open invitation to anyone, gay or straight, to write a commentary on this or any other topic.
Thanks for the clarification @CNS.
Wise words and eloquently put.
Its comments like those found on this page that turned me off religion and converted me to atheism! Live & let live, be nice to people & treat others as you would like to be treated : no one needs to go to church to do that. Good stuff Mr. Dyer!
Well written Sir. Now what we need is Miss Day to run for politics, now this would stir the pot. I for one would give her my vote as I’m sure many others.
Personally I’m am embarrassed to say I’m a Caymanian after comments made in our house of representatives.
The church has been in the background of politics for so long amd now it is time for change, the younger generation are really the ones that can make a Difference by coming out and voting.
As a matter of law Cayman should permit gay people to marry.
As a matter of freedom of speech, people should be free to voice their views against gay marriage, that includes politicians.
As a matter of freedom of religious expression, members of Cayman churches should be free to decline to perform or host a gay marriage ceremony.
Mr Dyer I recommend you stand for election as a MLA. It is encouraging to see Cayman’s youth engaged with political debate.
Parliamentary privilege does not shield ministers using that podium to openly propagate hate speech, to encourage sabotage and/or obstruction of civil freedoms, or for conspiring openly to “tighten” a misplaced and thoroughly disproven “case” of appeal. More importantly, they should not be at leisure to waste two days of LA time ranting and raving (once again) about restricting ANY citizen’s civil rights. The Speaker, as referee of conduct, is clearly unsuited for that position, and it is he who should bear the responsibility for this rebellion against the judiciary. We still haven’t been shown the full conspiracy that saw him move into that chair!
Is there some kind of religious, “thumbs down club” that convenes every day for a CNS session?
One good thing about same sex couples they can’t reproduce, the world already have too many people and that includes Cayman, when it was forty thousand people here things was a lot better.
Good point to note from this is even Mother Nature is against gays/lesbians!!!! Find a good argument for that one…. you say there is no God……however you can’t deny the evidence of “Mother Nature” and she says: same sex couples shall not procreate!!!!
CNS: But the world is horribly over-populated and humans are destroying the planet. By producing gays, Mother Nature is trying to slow that down. Obviously she is totally for gays and lesbians.
Yes. The vote flooding arrives over minutes, and stops after a 2 to 1 target ratio against whatever the reasonable comment was. I note the “anti-gay” petition on change.org has some Russian supporters (ie. no Michail Fakhretdinov’s on our voter list), so maybe this is a foreign lobby agency PPM/Unity have contracted with…seems to be a lot of false voting these days on a range of topics, including pro-Port. Some of these losers are voting 2 and 3 times using different email addresses. I think we can all think of a handful of MLAs that, if they could, would eagerly write a cheque to skew public perception.
And could it not be a pro-gay force as well ?
Mr Dyer we are Christian county. I am very concerned when such as yourself wants to change who were are!!
Marriage is between a man and a woman. A union would be better served for that kind of relationship as it requires another person to aid in having a family. 90 percent of heterosexual relationships does not require that. That relationship cannot under no circumstance procreate.
The Christian argument is getting so boring. Right up there with needing a man and a woman to make a family. There are lots of unwanted children in this world praying for a family to adopt. Like seriously, you all are sounding so stupid.
Jesus preached tolerance.
But he also spoke of obeying the laws of the land.
And it is the law of the land that gay people can marry!
Great news then, the Chief Judiciary of this land has voided the Marriage Law as it was found to be prejudicial to the Constitution (also see Jesus’ Second Great Commandment on Equality and disqualification from Heaven for judging others – these are not the errands of true Christians).
He commanded it!
Marriage was around long before Christianity was even a kernel of a thought. Ancient civilisations such as the Egyptians, Romans and Vikings were practicing marriage before Jesus was even born. Claiming it is a Christian institution is ignorant and uninformed.
Its amazing how “selective” our “Christians” are in what they want to believe in…Jesus would NEVER have turned his back on love, no matter where it manifested. People are really forgetting that Christianity is based on love, forgiveness, charity, hope and kindness especially for the marginalized!
Where are your hearts? Just because you go to church, read the bible does NOT make you a good Christian unless you live a life by example. Jesus never turned anyone away and we are all equal in the eyes of God no matter what persuasion you are!
Mr. Dyer I thank you for your courage and reacting the way a true Christian should!
Absolutely not !! The Bible teaches love for our neighbors. The Bible says to love the sinner, but hate the sin!! Homosexual/ Adultery/ fornicatio/ murder/ stealing are all sin the Bible speaks about.
Are we now going to legalize all these immoral acts in the name of love !!
Gees man, Newsflash: Sodomy law was repealed in 2000 by Orders in Council, so male same sex homosexuality has been legal for almost two decades. What the hell is fornicatio? Is that something at Batabano or some kind of Italian sandwich? Legal. Adultery doesn’t seem to be particularly illegal, but it can get you divorced! Where are casino ass-grabs, government credit card/expense fraud, and Latina hookering on your sliding-sin-scale-continuum? If you are trying to live a pious life, great, good for you, maybe you’ll make the front gate one day, but you aren’t going through if you continue to disparage equality and judge your fellow man. The Apostles didn’t discuss any loopholes in that regard.
Love trumps hate…. except in the Cayman Islands.
Great viewpoint. Eloquent. I’m happy to see it.
Thank you, Dominic Dyer, for your beautiful editorial. My husband and I — we are a married, same-sex couple — agree completely and wonder why more people cannot understand the obvious truths you enumerate. Most of the time, we are proud to tell people that we live in the Cayman Islands, but because of the venom that has poured out in the last few days, particularly at the Assembly, we are ashamed of our country at the moment. And to make it worse, the whole world is watching this disgraceful spectacle. The advanced nations are thinking, “What a bunch of bigots” — and they are completely correct. So sad…
I am certain that so many of the so called “Christians” in Cayman would be delighted with a good public stoning of gays in Cayman just like in Brunei. The Christians in Cayman have so much in common with Muslims who follow Sharia law to the letter.
What a sad place we live in. The 19th Century is alive and well in the Cayman Legislature.
Trump won.
Now on to Brexit.
PS> Pontification never convinced anyone they were wrong, no matter how wrong they are. Especially when you’re not bothering to listen to what the other side is actually saying. (Probably because the other side let themselves be represented by … Trumps.)
We’re doing great in the US. Wages up, unemployment down. LGBT all over the place. Feminists raising hell. Situation normal.
Very well said Mr. Dyer!
Wawawahhh…Oh more Bible-bashers and Christianity-haters, O Lord, God in Heaven spare us from them that hate you (and us for loving You)!! I only wish you all could see the future right now, after all this has taken control of our homeland, then you all won’t be so strongly supporting it. I am quite disheartened that you will tell me to move to Saudia Arbia because I’m not for same-sex marriage here and think it’s cool, but Ms. Day and Ms. Bodden-Bush shouldn’t have gone any place else in the World that this is legalised…yet you all preach tolerance and acceptance!! Talk about eating your cake and having it too….Thank you Mr. Dyer for putting it in the forefront here what I’ve been saying all along, Ms. Day bright as she is should have stormed the CIG and loaned her support to the major environmental issues we have here, but of course she and her supporters won’t be doing that because they’re not worried about the real issues here facing us as Caymanians because they believe it’ll be all good for Cayman or it doesn’t impact their lives….real sad case this is here now and we have to deal with it instead of the many other things that needs our grave attention
Literally her partner and Bodden and daughter are here are visitors and have no legal right to remain in Cayman as residents. The adoption although granted by the UK grand court is not recognized here. There is no legal nexus between the family here. How could Ms Day throw her bright legal mind behind other community issues until she’s able to remain here WITH her family? You’re way of thinking tells her to stay here, alone, removed from her family, who would have to move elsewhere, or leave Cayman forever. You stew on that. And if you think it’s just her you’re wrong – there are 100s of gay Caymanians abroad, exiled from home, including some children of the very MLAs who cast them aside. Educate yourself.
Bonehead: the Chief Judiciary ruled on all of this. You lost. How many years will it take you, and others, to figure out that Civil Rights are not pie? You have the same rights you had yesterday, and the day before that. They aren’t diminished in any way.
Human rights laws and Constitutional protections are there to shield minority victims, not to prop up and serve bullying jerks. When the Speaker of the House is stoking contempt for the Chief Justice, over two sessions, and over 6 hours of unrestrained official LA ramblings, then the UK is more than obliged to step in to end it. Where was the Governor?!?
12.31pm If the UK forces this gay marriage thing upon the majority of Caymanians THAT will be bullying of the highest degree, at the highest level.
Not really. Our Judiciary made its ruling and supports any action the UK may take in defense of ALL citizens of the Cayman Islands, esp those being victimized by unfair continued government-sponsored discrimination. My favorite part, is that parliamentary privilege will not protect those MLAs that voted against the judiciary last week. This should be a dissolution of the LA by Governor and the calling of a by-election.
These MLA’s are showing SO much hate, but they say they are Christians?
God said we should not hate and we should not judge. In the end God is going to judge us all.
I hope they are all removed from the L.A. next election.
They probably forgot that LGBT people are voters as well.
I think you need to get a grip on the difference between an opposing view and hate. As for the call of death, what I saw was a bible quote which is subject to interpretation. I doubt you would be interested in that though. Holy books are often quoted to support a view, which in my view is wrong, and leads to opinions such as yours.
ONE QUESTION CRASHES THIS ARTICLE:
What type of love are you talking about?????
Mr. Dyer
You had me until your need to toss in you opinion on the cruise ship berthing.
(which I’m all for)
Just goes to show that you can’t please everyone.
Stop blaming Trump for your problems. He is far less hateful and harmful than Hillary and most of his current opposition.
Very well said Mr. Dyer, you have expressed my thoughts exactly, in a much more eloquent and graceful manner than I would have been able to. Thank you for posting this!
Thank you David! Thankfully, there are young Caymanians like you that have the guts to speak out against injustice and inequality. Hats off to you.
The younger Caymanian generation needs to step up politically as we are led by old boys and old girls with old ideas who are in their 60’s, 70’s and 80’s. Rivers is the younger generation in her late 40’s but thinks old and traditionally so she is in the same camp as McKeeva, Alden, Juliana, Eden, etc. The sooner these old boys and girls are put out to pasture the better.
Last week’s kabuki demonstrates clear contempt of the Judiciary by the LA and Speaker, so the governor should wake up, dissolve the assembly, and call a by-election for sometime this summer.
Well said Dominic! I also don’t understand what people mean when they say the judgment takes some of their rights away? No one is forcing anyone to marry anyone to someone of the same sex. This ruling makes the institution of marriage stronger not weaker. Heterosexual married people should be happy and delighted that someone wants to join this soecial and exclusive institution and celebration of love that is marriage.
In talking to people who are against it, the phrase they keep mentioning is that why should people ‘impose this’ on them. Unfortunately, they can’t really articulate why they feel this way. Why do some people feel as though this will directly impact them or have any bearing on their life at all? Where does this feeling of imposition come from? What do they think will actually happen to them? Did they feel the same way about the Economic Substance Act or other laws which impose on them? Some people feel like they and their values have been directly targeted for elimination, which is just not the case at all.
Some have mentioned that they don’t want to have to explain this to their children, as though the rest of this harsh and cruel world is so easy to explain. Do they devote themselves to ending immense poverty in Cayman so that they don’t have to worry themselves with teaching their children about why some are starving? What about devoting themselves to stopping domestic abuse, which many children witness in their own homes – probably these same homes that can’t bear gay marriage. How is explaining gay marriage so intolerable when there are so many other problems that children witness?
Then there is the question of a family life. They cry, ‘How could a child grow up with two mothers?? They will be so maladjusted!!!’ Meanwhile their own family life is so complicated they need a spider graph to explain the different fathers, and half siblings. Many children in Cayman would be lucky to have one half decent mother, let alone two good ones. Many children in Cayman would be lucky to even know their fathers, let alone have two!
Truth bomb!!! One of the best comments I’ve ever seen in response to this issue. Of course, the truth hurts so many will not be willing to accept it.
Heterosexual couples ruined marriage with high divorce rates. Studies have also shown that gay couples actually have less chance of divorce. Personally, if we are “all about the children” (to which I say is a cover for bigotry) we should rather hope that the child has two parents around instead of one.
All of the arguments the government and bible thumpers have are ridiculous:
“Leviticus is clear!” Well, if that’s you belief then you should fight for all the things Leviticus states. Just google all the silly things Leviticus commands!
“Constitution was written in such a way to deny same sex rights. It’s the will of the people!” Your constitution also allows judiciary to make changes. Which is what happened.
“Children will be maladjusted!” Kids wont care. For reasons mentioned above.
In conclusion, I hope the backwards laws are fully changed. Writing laws based on a 2000 year old book that is hardly taken seriously anymore is a bad practice. If you really want that move to Saudi Arabia.
“Where does this feeling of imposition come from?”
When you have been able to impose your beliefs upon the lives of others, the loss of that ability feels like “oppression”.
For example, when white business owners in the US were no longer able to refuse service to persons of African descent, or had to “tolerate” racially intermarried people in theaters or restaurants, this felt (and still feels) like something has been taken away from them.
The “problem” has been the successive waves of letting the wrong kinds of people have the same legal rights as everyone else. If I cannot lord my legally advantaged position against others who are not “my sort”, then my identity and pride in not being that sort of people is eroded, and I feel a loss.
That’s what it is.
Speak the truth!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Everything has developed in Cayman except the mindset of certain Caymanians. They shame the rest of us Caymanians.
Thank you Mr. Dyer for your viewpoint. I wish you were the Premier!!!!
well said….but expecting tolerance, understanding and basic christianity from caymanians …is an exercise in futility
Please be real. “Caymanians” includes the new Caymanians, e.g. homophobic Jamaicans, Americans, Bahamians, Belizeans, Canadians etc.