Forgiveness after fatal crash
Angel Ebanks writes: I am Jordan’s mother. Thanks for all the supportive comments. I am in tears opening this post from CNS and finding out this way that a plea was finally entered and that after two and a half years, something is finally happening and that Jordan seems to have mattered to the RCIPS, after all.
I say this, not because I do not appreciate that the courts are backlogged, or that there are not other cases before my son’s death; I say this because in all this time no one in power has bothered to contact me — not even once — about progress, new developments, court dates, nothing. I have had to find everything through the newspaper. That is what I find reprehensible and appalling.
I have honestly felt that neither Jordan nor my family were given the respect that his death deserved. To clear up what I can, I want to say that the suddenness of Jordan’s death has left a vacuum in our lives, it was like a tsunami that swept into our existence and wiped out everything we knew to be good.
Jordan was celebrating Pirates Week, and had been drinking. He attempted to do the right thing and asked someone to take him home in his own car. He asked the wrong person, a stranger in fact. There are details that only Mr Kelly is privy to, but from what has been pieced together and for reasons unbeknownst to us, he drove Jordan’s car past Jordan’s home in Northward and up to Queen’s highway where they crashed and Jordan was killed.
Mr Kelly panicked and left him there upon seeing that Jordan had died. After the first initial anger and heartbreak of thinking that Jordan was left there alone, after a very long time I was able to understand that Antonio (Kelly) was a child, a panicked and terrified child who must have realized the gravity of the wreck immediately.
I forgive him. I do not know him but have chosen to give his character the benefit of the doubt. I know he ran but hating him and holding onto anger will not bring my boy back. As to the comment that he came back, well … sort of. It seems that he needed medical attention himself and went into a clinic later that day after hiding out, and after the police were called due to his odd behavior, he admitted that he was the driver.
This has not been an easy road to forgiveness, but I have done — because my God forgave me and because Jordan, wherever he is, has forgiven Antonio, also. That was the kind of boy that Jordan was.
I do feel a sense of relief today, not so much because this young man is in jail, but because it is finally over, or nearly over. It is unfortunate that the lives of these two young Caymanians have both been changed forever.
This comment was posted in response to Driver admits killing passenger in NS crash
Category: Viewpoint
I am Jordan’s grandmother. Angela is my daughter. I have shared her hurt and anguish and though we live far apart we’ve grieved for Jordan together. I am so proud of my daughter for having such a strong and resilient spirit and for having the kind of heart that can forgive. I love you “Denni”. I believe that having forgiven you will now be able to begin rebuilding your life and you’ve set a wonderful example for Lia, your own daughter.
Love from Mom
You are a true a dear heart. I’m so sorry for the loss of your son. I can see from your post that you’ve searched your heart and soul and perhaps screamed to the heavens. I wish you peace, at last. I did not know your son, but I know those who did, and he was well spoken of. He made the right choice with the wrong person. The wrong person did not intend for anyone to be hurt. I hope and pray, that is enough, his sentence.
I don’t know Mr. Kelly either, however I imagine his self-imposed sentence will mirror your own grief. It’s a hard thing to know you are responsible for another’s death, especially if you think it was preventable.
I wish you peace. I wish Mr. Kelly peace. I pray you both find it.
I miss Jordan. He was such a good friend of mine. Though it was never official to the world, I believed him to be my best friend. I loved him dearly. He was always there for me to the point where people thought we were a couple. He was the funniest person to be around and I used to love when he imitated people. His beautiful eyes and crazy curly hair packed with gel. He didn’t have the perfect life but he never let that show. He was such a beautiful intelligent person.
I suck at Math so I’d always make sure to sit by him for help (but I’d eventually fall asleep in class anyway and he’d stick a pen or his finger in my ear to wake me up for our next class).
I still do not believe all of this. He and my grandmother were buried right beside each other on the same exact day and I still don’t know how I made it through that day. That was when it was all so real. I cannot explain the way my heart hurts. I know he’s still around all of us. I can still hear his funny laugh and see him shaking his head and holding his hand over his mouth when something was really funny… Oh, and his little walk, God I miss him. He was truly taken from us too soon. I wish he could have met my daughter. She would’ve loved him. I am so angry at this little boy. That accident did not need to happen.
I still have my old school books where he and I would draw random cartoons and write notes about our teachers. All of our pictures together and memories of fun times are all I have left.
I miss my friend.
Justice for Jordan. <3
Thank you for loving him, Lauren…..Jordan’s mom
God bless you, Jordon’s Mom. You are not alone. Other mothers, like me, who have lost sons feel your sorrow.
It is true the pain will never actually be gone, and it will come and go with varying intensities, but you are doing a great deal of healing in offering forgiveness and in sharing your experience.
You sound as if you had been a wonderful mother to Jordon, and you can draw a lot of comfort from that. And it does sound that Jordan was a wonderful young man of whom you can be proud.
What a courageous and inspiring post.
May the rest of your life be blessed.
Very heartfelt and well spoken. This mother have shown great strength and courage. Forgiveness is not easy, and to try to forgive someone takes alot of courage, especially when losing a child under these circumstances, yet hate in our hearts gets us no where and it only makes the Devil smile more, may God bless this mother, we need more people like her in this world. Great lesson taught here. So let us spread more love and let us remove hatred indefinitely.
This was a very touching, brave and heartfelt post.
My condolences to you for the loss of your son.
He has a wonderful mother.
– Who
You are God’s Angel in this world, Jordan’s mom. Jordan is in a better place than he was two and a half years ago, because God saw he deserved that, and kelly is where he has plenty of time to think about the reason God put him in this world. May God give His Angel and her family strength to go on.
These are powerful words and as I read them I couldn’t help to fall to tears. Your forgiveness is the key to your betterment and continued healing; even though I understand it was difficult to do. I have not been in your situation but I am a man of the soil and a Caymanian that has a lot of empathy for people who have suffered loss or hurt. I ask that the Good Lord will continue to give you strength and the encouragement to face this young man in time to come. As you have forgiven him, nothing will mean more to him than to hear this face-to-face from you as he too will need to heal.
In situations like these, people are quick to judge or to lay blame. However, what is needed in these so heartfelt cases is the need for people to learn to be more empathic. Empathy is a skill that so many in our islands seem not to possess and therefore, I appeal through this avenue, for people of all ages, colour, nationality, social status, sexual orientation, education, and so on, to become less quick to judge, ridicule, gossip, belittle, etc the next person and instead choose to become more EMPATHETIC, COMPASSIONATE, TOLERANT, KIND, FORGIVEN people. If we all practice these skills and ingrain them into our daily lives, THEN and only THEN can we really call ourselves a man or woman of God.
God bless you and your family and may He grant you the peace you need and deserve to continue life. Forgiveness is like a medicine for the soul. May Jordan’s soul rest in peace.