Police attend 61 crashes in first days of safety campaign
(CNS): During the first five days of Operation Winter Guardian, which began Monday, the police attended 61 crashes and arrested nine drunk drivers. The annual holiday safety campaign has got off to a worrying start as the increasingly poor standard of driving across Cayman appears to get worse by the month. Drivers continue drinking before getting behind the wheel, using their phones and speeding, among other issues.
“With the weekend upon us, it is vital that persons carefully consider their driving behaviour,” a spokesperson for the RCIPS said. “If you are drinking, don’t get behind the wheel. And if you are driving, particularly at night, be considerate of other road users and obey the speed limits. With Christmas only five days away we want everyone to arrive home safely to enjoy the festive season with loved ones.”
With just ten days to go before the end of the year, twelve people have already died on local roads, and many more have been seriously injured, making it one of the worst years on record for road fatalities and injuries.
- Fascinated
- Happy
- Sad
- Angry
- Bored
- Afraid
If only there was an agency tasked with enforcement of the laws.
All fees with driving vehicle are too cheap here. Expats on 6 $ per hour here driving like crazy. when in their own country could never be able to own and get licenses
There appears to be a new trend now of driving at daybreak with no lights on. Lights are to see and BE SEEN!
Clearly you have never seen Urban Legend.
Try going round the ALT roundabout as a cyclist. It is more like a suicide mission. Illegal or not I am using the pedestrian crossing, it matters not if I walk it across or ride it across.
Why does the NRA not replace light standards after they have been damaged in a crash? From Camana Bay to West Bay I counted 9 missing. At what point does the lack of lighting make it more dangerous on those roadways? Also, are the drivers charged with the cost of replacement?
Drivers in Grand Cayman seem to think this is a sport! Most drivers are good but the few that ruin it pay no attention to speed limits.
“Most drivers are good”? Er, no.
no respect for the police farce after the the jon-jon incidents.
I would really like to see a better taxi/uber type service available at a reasonable and more frequent rate. There are so many times we can not even reach taxi drivers and if so charge an extortionist fee. Please please please can this be better regulated for the safety of the community
No chance babe. The Jamaican status holders got their houses to be building back in their forever homelands
There is no evening bus service. Taxis are pricey.
People will take a chance.
What happened to that expensive report on public transport that was commissioned? Filed away and forgotten like all the others.
Ah, brilliant! Let’s refine the satire to reflect that very real—and utterly absurd—fact about driving in Cayman. The image of drivers barreling over roundabouts instead of around them is pure comedic gold. Here’s the updated piece:
“Operation Winter WAAAGH: Drunken Orks and Roundabout Rampages”
The Cayman Islands continues to deliver a spectacle on its roads that defies all reason. With 61 crashes in just five days of Operation Winter Guardian, it seems our drivers aren’t content to merely mimic a warband of drunken Orks—they’ve gone one step further, treating roundabouts as obstacles to conquer, not navigate.
Forget fishtailing or cautious maneuvering; here in Cayman, the preferred method of handling a roundabout is straight through it.
Why bother with petty details like directional flow or traffic rules when you can just plow over the center like an Ork warbuggy on a mission?
After all, if it works for Orks in Warhammer 40K, why not here? “Oi, da shortest way is a straight line! WAAAGH!”
Roundabouts: The New Battleground
While roundabouts elsewhere in the world are meant to ease traffic flow, in Cayman, they’ve become the ultimate test of vehicular bravado.
It’s as if drivers see the raised center and think: “Looks like a ramp! Let’s see if we can get some air!” Tire marks crisscrossing the landscaping stand as silent witnesses to the nightly madness.
Bushes are flattened, signs are shattered, and the occasional decorative palm tree becomes an unwilling casualty.
But why stop there? In the spirit of Orkish ingenuity, some drivers appear to be testing a new strategy: treating roundabouts as speed bumps. Who needs suspension when you have sheer audacity?
Taxis Join the WAAAGH
Adding to the chaos are the island’s taxis—or what’s left of them. By night, they don’t so much provide transportation as they do live out their own version of vehicular anarchy.
Fueled by magic powders and shady juices, these drivers approach roundabouts with the same devil-may-care attitude, opting to drive over, around, or through, depending on the phase of the moon.
Their clients, meanwhile, cling to their seats in terror, praying the enchanted taxi doesn’t end its journey in a hedge.
Adeptus Ridiculous’ Proposed Solutions
It’s clear that Operation Winter Guardian needs an upgrade—something bold enough to combat both the Ork-like drivers and the magic taxi menace.
Here are a few ideas straight from the Adeptus Ridiculous handbook:
1. The “Roundabout Bunkers” Initiative: Fortify the roundabouts with concrete walls and defensive spikes. If drivers insist on treating them as battlefields, at least make it interesting. Bonus points if we install Ork heads on pikes as a warning.
2. Driver Orkification Program: If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em. Issue helmets, green face paint, and foam axes to every reckless driver. At least that way, the aesthetic will match the behavior.
3. Taxi Exorcism Teams: Before any taxi is allowed on the road, it must pass a thorough screening process—complete with holy water, a breathalyzer, and a quick chat with a therapist to rule out magical influences.
A Call to Sanity (or at Least to Staying on the Road)
As the chaos continues, it’s worth remembering that even the Orks of Warhammer 40K have a sort of crude logic to their madness.
Cayman’s drivers, on the other hand, seem determined to prove that chaos reigns supreme. This festive season, let’s break the cycle. Stop driving like Orks.
Stop treating roundabouts like launchpads.
And for the love of all that’s sane, stop relying on magic taxis.
MORONS!
What is this enforcement they speak of? I’ve not seen one roadblock, or vehicle even pulled over.
I’ll also guarantee most of the DUI detection has been a result of attending smashes.
Useless and not fit for purpose.
How many people who crashed in to stationary light poles or excavators were not breathalyzed? Maybe Wayne might know?
Squidward what the raaaaaas is goin on bloodz??
If there was a TV show of Top Country ranking with the world’s worst drivers. Cayman would be a contender for #1 on the planet.
It’s actually impressive how accidents occur at such turtle speeds like 30 miles/hour on island.
Kinda like the line from the movie Friday when the father asks his son “now Craig how the hell did you get fired from your job on your day off!?”
The answer is that the drivers weren’t going at 30 mph but probably double that.
Every driver on the ETH has been passed by drivers and motorcyclists at speeds like you were standing still.
This week, people have seemed much more frenetic than usual. I get that it’s “the holiday season” and so much to buy and so little time to do it, but [some] people seem rude and angry. Hey, there is less money to go around in my household also. I am very blessed to have a family with relatively simple needs. We are the last people in town to get anything new.
People, in general, seem much less entrenched in the ‘Christmas Spirit’ than in the past. Perhaps it is an underlying awareness of just how screwed up the world is, and desperately hoping to offset than madness with just. one. last/more. excellent Christmas.
I feel hesitant to go out on the roads. It’s like a competition. Well, if so, you win. Go ahead, do what you want, I’m not playing.
Be safe everybody.
I have seen a lot of terrible driving in Cayman, but what is going on now is the worst. It is as if people have lost their mind. Tailgating, pulling out in front of oncoming traffic when the only way to avoid a collision is for the car with the right-of-way to slam on the brakes, speeding and illegal passing are constant. Yesterday I had a guy lay on the horn and start swearing at me because I refused to run over a pedestrian crossing the road I was turning onto. I mean … wtf?
Was KFC about to close? KFC should be open 24 hours to reduce car accidents.
Yeah, I’ve been honked at for braking for cyclist who was illegally using a pedestrian crossing.
I fully understand that he was breaking the rules… but for another driver to honk to suggest I should I sped past and knock him off his bike is insane.
61 crashes where the crashees couldn’t put car in reverse and carry on with bodywork dragging, sparks, etc. There is still no measurable on road deterrence/consequence, only long after-the-fact actuarial assistants.