Election workers commended for registration effort
Registering Officers: (L-R) Esther “Pat” Ebanks (North Side), Leisa Welcome (East End), Kerry Nixon (Bodden Town), Kathryn Myles (George Town) & Bethany Powery (West Bay) 
Registering officers with 3,125 processed applications for voter registration or change of address 
Election staff 
Sister Islands Registering Officer Ellen Lazzari (right) and her assistant Cathy Scott
(CNS): As Election Day approaches, staff at the Elections Office have been working flat out over the last few weeks and months to ensure that every voice counts. Between the beginning of October and mid-January, registering officers added a record 1,858 new voters to the electoral roll, pushing the register to a new high of 25,687 electors.
Government officials said the revised list, published on 29 January, reflected the tireless efforts of the staff who worked diligently, often into the evenings and weekends, to process voter applications ahead of the deadline.
Check out the CNS Election Section interactive map to see who is running in each constituency.
See the list of candidates and their party affiliations here.
Category: Election News
Thank you election staff. I can imagine the sacrifices you have made at the final hour, putting in overtime leading onto the nights and mornings to get this right. Evident by the numbers of registered voters we know this is almost a historic elections in the Cayman Islands once again. As a voter and as a candidate I express my thank you. As someone who has volunteered on political campaigns I know the hard work that goes in behind the scenes. Thank you.
🚨 OFFICIAL TRANSMISSION FROM THE ADEPTUS RIDICULOUS 🚨
Re: The Grand Spectacle of Voter Registration, Overreach, and Privacy Violations
Ah, citizens, behold! The record-breaking voter registration effort—hailed as a triumph of democracy—has instead become a case study in electoral absurdity!
For while 1,858 new voters have been added to the roll, the sheer level of bureaucratic overreach, privacy invasions, and strategic roadblocks have reached unprecedented heights.
*The question is no longer “Who gets to vote?” but rather “Who is being blocked, scrutinized, or strong-armed?”
🛑 STAGE ONE: REGISTRATION—A BUREAUCRATIC NIGHTMARE
🚨 Birth Certificates of Both Parents – Because One Isn’t Enough!
• Born in Cayman? Not enough.
• Have a passport? Still not enough.
• You must prove your parents’ origins—even if they were born here too!
• What’s next? DNA testing? Proof of divine right? The Book of Life itself?
🚨 The “Prove You Exist” Challenge
• Forget previous voting history, Caymanian status, or any logic whatsoever.
• The **goal isn’t just to verify voters—it’s to make registration so painful that some give up.
• Voter suppression by red tape? Yes, please!
🚨 Who’s Being Targeted for “Extra Scrutiny”?
• Let’s be honest: Certain demographics are facing more obstacles than others.
• Is this a crackdown on fraud? Or is it a disguised effort to control who gets to cast a ballot?
🛑 STAGE TWO: THE PUBLIC VOTER REGISTRY—WHY STOP AT PRIVACY INVASION?
💀 Currently Public: Your Name, Electoral District, and Status as a Registered Voter
• Because why should your right to vote be confidential?
• Imagine if banks published your account balances “for transparency.”
• Or if hospitals listed your medical conditions online—because privacy is just an illusion!
🔥 BUT WHY STOP THERE? LET’S PUBLISH MORE!
• Voting history! Just list how everyone voted. Transparency, right?
• Home address! Because what’s democracy without targeted harassment?
• Siblings’ addresses and employment history! Because why limit privacy violations to just one household?
🚨 In any real democracy, voter privacy is sacred. In Absurdistan, it’s a suggestion.
🛑 STAGE THREE: THE IMPLICATIONS OF THIS ABSURDISTANI OPERATION
💰 Need votes? Just check the public list and send “reminders.”
🏠 Oppose the government? Expect a “visit” before election day.
📢 Want to influence policies? Just check which MPs’ relatives are registered and apply “strategic persuasion.”
🚨 This isn’t voter registration—it’s surveillance masquerading as democracy.
🔥 FINAL VERDICT: DEMOCRACY, BUT MAKE IT DYSTOPIAN
✔ Great news: More voters registered!
💀 Terrible news: The process is so convoluted that many may never even reach the polls.
🔥 The overreach is deliberate. It’s not about securing the process—it’s about controlling who gets through it.
💀 Final Rating: -1000 out of 10 for privacy protection and electoral integrity.
🔥 Would rather broadcast my ATM PIN live on air than be listed in this dystopian voter catalog.
💀 WHAT COMES NEXT?
Will the new voters actually make it to the polls?
Will the records be “managed” to favor the usual suspects? Will future elections come with required retina scans and a signed affidavit from St. Peter?
Citizens, brace yourselves. The Absurdistani Electoral Circus has only just begun.
++ END TRANSMISSION ++
Disclaimer: While the characters mentioned above are purely fictional, the bureaucratic overreach is very very real , the potential invasion of privacy blatant ,
unnecessary and outright dystopian !