Voting for turkeys

| 01/02/2021

Corrupt Voter writes: I need a fridge and I’m prepared to vote for whoever gives me one before Election Day. I also need a washing machine, so I may well accept one from a second candidate and tell them I’ll vote for him/her but in truth I will vote for the candidate that gave me the more expensive appliance. However, a candidate that wants to trump the fridge candidate can offer to do major repairs to my house, which I can’t get the government to do because they’re all useless.

I fully expect all candidates to help pay my power bill and to give me cash. A 25 dollar bill is good; $100 is better. You can stand on the street corner or come to my house. I don’t care. As long as you know that I’m open to bribery.

I’m not going to tell you which constituency I live in, so between now and the May election every candidate should ask every voter they think is bribable if they need (wink! wink!) a fridge just in case I live in their district. They had better hope that they don’t offer the fridge or washing machine or home repairs to an honest voter, though, because they know that it is an illegal act under section 95 of the Elections Law just to try this grift. An honest voter would also know that it is illegal to accept such gifts in return for votes, even if you don’t in the end vote for them.

I don’t really care about this though. My fridge is four years old and I want a new one. I also understand that a person who would buy my vote would sell their country, but my beers will be chilled, which is the important thing. A morally weak candidate is a small price to pay.

Talking of beers, I fully intend to go to every single function that every candidate holds in my district but only if there’s food and especially if there’s drink and a band playing. Some candidates, especially incumbents, will call this a community function, but we know it is electioneering and therefore illegal. But there will be free food and I won’t have to cook that night. That’s worth a vote.

My neighbour votes for the candidate that gives her a turkey at Christmas but I think she’s selling her vote short. She should push for at least a small appliance, a microwave maybe, then in four years she can upgrade her vote to something bigger, like a fridge. I mean, if you’re going to sell your vote in a corrupt election, you might as well get something decent out of it.

I always choose how to vote this way and it’s worked for me for decades. No, I don’t have a job, my district needs a lot of repairs and my child, a good boy, has been in and out of jail for drugs and petty crime. I couldn’t get any help for him when he started having problems. I tried to call my representative but he was always in Monaco or Africa or London or somewhere doing something important that involved champagne.

Those people who get elected, they’re all useless and I have moaned about my representative for four years. I expect I’ll moan for the next four years. But what can I do? It’s the system.

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Comments (28)

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  1. Anonymous says:

    WBW needs help or a lot of votes will be lost, this election. The only time we sees McKeeva is on the News or in Parliament(when he is not in rehab).

  2. Anonymous says:

    McKeeva poses for “treating” photo op, and admits to illegal patronage while serving criminal probationary release:

  3. Anonymous says:

    Whoever running for WBW feel sorry I’m not into election this year.

  4. Anonymous says:

    The problem with the comments that say “take their stuff and vote them out” is—no more stuff later. Given the tiny amount of votes needed to get elected, and the numbers of voters probably happy with the gravy train, seems likely this problem is going to continue. It is a successful strategy.

  5. Feathered friend. says:

    I have to admit voting for a turkey has it’s advantages. It cannot give you a fridge, it cannot become a member of the Lodge, it cannot drink at bars and beat up any defenceless females nearby, it cannot be corrupted, it cannot keep quoting the bible rather than answering questions, it does not need a ginormous salary and perks for gobbling in the House of Parliament, and the list goes on —-.

  6. Anonymous says:

    Corrup…shame on you.

  7. BeaumontZodecloun says:

    Dear Corrupt Voter,

    You seem uncommonly honest and forthright. Would you consider running for office in your district? You certainly couldn’t be worse that what we currently have.

  8. Anonymous says:

    Common sense:

    I will not vote for any candidate that does not actually live in my district

    • Anonymous says:

      But they live in Cayman 3 tiny islands.
      Cayman needs to change to a National voting system with a maximum of 15 elected MP’s for the Cayman Islands

      • Anonymous says:

        2:43 pm, that’s the most sensible text I read in years, i agree 100%,I take my hat off to yous, wish it was thousands like you in these Islands then we may get it

    • Anonymous says:

      The creators of these little voting districts opted for this system so there is a community small enough to bribe! A national voting system would make corruption a little harder, so please think about this! Schools and infrastructure have to be built for the entire island not just a district! Be skeptical about this people who suddenly find their social side in the district, they are most likely after very personal rewards. It will cost the entire island and the entire nation a lot, look at long therm track records!

    • Anonymous says:

      McKeeva, Joey Hew, John John, Tara Rivers, and Bibleman Jr are all running in districts they live in. Just saying. And if you support any of these politicians then I can’t help you.

  9. Anonymous says:

    LMAO…this article has made my day!👏

  10. Eat them Out, Drink them Out and VOTE THEM OUT in 2021 says:

    Dear Caymanians

    Take their gifts, money and turkeys. It is the only thing they will give you. They are using money given to them by their masters or owners. It is special interests, corporate cayman and rich developers that are sponsoring the campaigns and all the gifts, booze, parties and carnival like atmosphere. They have been doing it for decades. The time has come to “Eat them OUT, Drink them OUT and VOTE THEM OUT!”
    They have done nothing for the average Caymanian except lie to us.

  11. Anonymous says:


  12. Anonymous says:

    But it is fair play. It goes both ways.
    Are you aware that bars and restaurants comp the bills of MLA’s and their party of however many accompany them?

    Now. Who looking favors???

  13. West Bay South Voter says:

    “Voting for Turkeys”. Very cute. I however will NOT be squandering my vote on the candidate that offers appliances and turkeys. In fact, my West Bay South household has 4 votes waiting for someone. The Mrs. just became Caymanian and a registered voter, and the two kids just became registered voters and will vote in their first election, even while both are away at university. We have agreed to all vote for the candidate that has agreed to SERVE their country. And by SERVE I do not mean giving out hand-outs. We will not be voting for someone simply because they are popular. We will not be voting for someone simply because they were a successful business person. We will not be voting for someone simply because we know the person, or the person is cool, or likeable, or well known in the community or is a regular church goer or is a good parent, or a good spouse, or we know their mama and daddy, or any of the other reasons that some Caymanians have historically used to vote someone in to public office in this country. We have agreed to put our 4 votes towards the person who will fix Cayman’s sub-standard public education system. We will vote for the candidate that agrees that any country that taxes its citizens at a rate of 20-40% for just about everything they consume, deserves to have a world-class public education systems, so that its citizens can take advantage of the very best opportunities that their country has to offer. We will not be voting for the candidate that thinks that simply continuing to expand the public sector to employ its citizens is the answer.

    That’s 4 votes West Bay South Candidate, whoever you might be. Convince us.


      You are not the average Caymanian voter. Vote buying is prevalent in all districts.

      What is the elections office going to do to investigate and charge individuals, candidates and the parties to stop the unlawful conduct? History has shown us they do nothing, turn the other cheek and pretend vote buying is not occurring prior and during Election Day.

      East End and North Side will be awash with money as the parties are desperate to replace the old guard. The backers of each candidate will spend whatever it takes to help their candidate secure the 200 votes for victory.

      Corruption is real in Cayman at every level especially during elections. What will the Governor’s Office do to safeguard the principles of good governance? Is this Governor any different from his predecessors or with he be as accommodating or complicit in protecting those persons and their agents that break the laws?

    • Anonymous says:

      Many people will take the turkey, vote for the giver and hope for a fridge in four years. A reliable gift giver is better than a supposedly “honest”politician for many folks who are just getting by. Fact. This successful strategy is not going away unless people start getting arrested. That isn’t going to happen.

    • Anonymous says:

      Good for you. As a long time Caymanian voter I can say that I have NEVER voted for any person due to any gift. But I feel sure that there are some who have.
      Note that the politician can only assist in the education issue. Where many have faultered in this endeavour, is that they have not REPEATEDLY told their constituents that 80% (at least) of education is up to the individual (& family’s support) not they system. I went through it and succeeded along with many others so I know it can be done.

    • Anonymous says:

      If you sell your vote for a turkey, you deserve to be ruled by one!

    • Lennon Christian says:

      Yes..a decent education must be the core issue..yet most candidates can’t seem to understand what side is up in their communities or the country.
      #Subsidise costs about US$1,000/Month.
      #No kid leaves Primary school illiterate.
      #ID and focus on their strengths in high school.
      #Stop saying “not all kids are academically inclined “.. ALL kids are, but in different ways.
      #Give Free UCCI Uni degree yo all kids!
      This is horrible what has been happening to the system and curriculum since the Middle School years.
      Parents too uninformed or unmotivated to advocate…
      Kids too frustrated and dulled to care.
      Natural curiosity dulled in preteen years. Sad!

    • Anonymous says:

      10:02 Which Candidate going to PROMISE YOU

  14. Anonymous says: