Poinciana could be adapted to house criminally insane
(CNS): The government is considering how it can adapt the recently opened Poinciana Rehabilitation Centre to house the criminally insane. The centre was not designed to detain individuals who are a danger to society because of their illness. But with nowhere else to house people found not guilty of violent crimes by reason of insanity other than the mental health ward at the HSA hospital in George Town, a unit at the facility could be adapted to provide a secure place for these individuals, the parliament heard Wednesday night.
Government officials gathered at the Poinciana Centre in December for a ceremonial opening of the long-awaited East End facility, even though it is not yet complete due to various problems with the development delaying certificates of occupancy.
It was designed as a residential home for those with long-term mental health issues or learning difficulties and a day facility for people who are able to live in the community. Housing the criminally insane there was not considered throughout the many years that the facility was under development.
However, an increasing number of people who commit very violent offices are found to be suffering from serious psychological problems. A number of violent offenders currently housed in both HMP Northward and Fairbanks after being found guilty of serious crimes, including murder, may not have been officially found insane by the courts but are still severely ill and are not getting the appropriate treatment, an issue raised by the chief justice during this year’s Grand Court opening.
When Attorney General Sam Bulgin presented to parliament a number of amendments to the Criminal Procedure Code, he explained that they would help the government better navigate the lack of a properly designed centre for those detained by the courts after a violent act committed because of their serious mental health problems. After explaining the changes, he revealed that the Poinciana may have a role to play in assisting these people.
The AG referred indirectly to the well-documented case of Travis Webb, who suffers from severe mental health problems. In 2018, he buried his young child alive in the family garden, but thanks to the quick action of other family members, the child was saved.
Given his severe problems, Webb, once a promising local athlete, was the first person in the Cayman Islands to be formally found not guilty of a serious offence due to insanity. Last year, he escaped from the mental health ward where he had been held for several years on an open-ended court order, illustrating the problem of housing Webb and others like him at the hospital, which is not a secure unit.
Bulgin said that the law was being amended to give the courts the power to make orders relating to these individuals rather than the governor, as is currently the case. He explained that, where appropriate, the courts could then send some individuals overseas for treatment, and they could also make more appropriate orders relating to where they can be housed in Cayman other than the hospital.
“The main purpose of the amendment… is to remove the governor as the main person who will make the order as to when a person can be discharged,” Bulgin said. He explained that, under the separation of powers, this is unconstitutional as it is the role of the courts to make such decisions. It will also allow the courts to constantly review these cases and impose relevant conditions, even conditions of release.
“We recently unveiled the Poinciana facility… but there is no facility there to house these people… that I am speaking about,” he said, adding that this needs to be revisited. “It’s not too late and the Cabinet has… asked for a re-look be taken at the facility… to see if a section of it can be cordoned off… with the necessary security,” he said.
“There is no reason why… given what we have there now, a dedicated wing can’t be set aside for the purpose of housing these people unfit to plead because of insanity,” he added.
The AG said that these individuals would be only a small number of the people who would be housed there. A working group is now looking at the potential reconfiguration so that the courts can make an order to send relevant people there.
Health Minister Dwayne Seymour said he agreed that “we do need to rethink the intention of the Poinciana facility”, noting that only two of the nine units are currently in use. “We need to think about repurpose… This can be done as there is a lot of space,” he said, adding that there were other considerations, such as the line-up of the council to make these changes.
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Category: Courts, Crime, Health, Laws, Mental Health, Politics
Building a facility is easy, staffing it is another. Most Mental Health professionals are generally not craving to work in these facilities. Please make sure you can recruit the appropriate staff before throwing patients in a warehouse.
They should have built that one first..
Why not just send them to the Brac?
back to where they came from???
Health Minister Dwayne
Nearly, but not quite as funny as
Culture Minister Dwayne
This won’t end good…
Like another institution on the island that is supposed to house the persons needing rehab help, to deal with their drug/alcohol addiction, yet same not to want those that also may have other issues which they demonstrate from time to time, who then is this particular facility for?
A mental health institution should cater to all persons from those who might need outpatient help to deal with their mental issues from time to time to ‘yes!’ the criminally insane. A different wing yes but that is where such persons should be housed.
Could you make proper use of this facility and stop wasting public funds? Of course, this is possible.
Hire the best persons who are qualified to deal with ALL types of persons who are suffering from mental health issues and not just for the facility to pick and choose who they want to house or assist.
Poinciana was designed as alternate accommodation for those existing Caymanians with mental issues, already overseas receiving full-time that Cayman could not care to. It was fully occupied before it broke ground years ago. No room in the inn.
My Dear Ambassador,
It is with great love, boundless exasperation, and an overwhelming sense of inevitability that I must inform you of the latest development in our ongoing saga of governance gone awry.
The powers that be—through what I can only assume was either an administrative error or a rare moment of lucidity—have decided that the current residents of 33 Fort Street are no longer fit for their present accommodations.
Yes, Ambassador, they are to be relocated.
Not to a tropical retreat. Not to a retirement villa. But to the only place suitable for individuals of their particular… mental constitution:
The Poncina Facility for the Criminally Insane.
THE OFFICIAL REASONS CITED FOR THIS TRANSFER:
1️⃣ INCURABLE POLICY-INDUCED PSYCHOSIS
• Symptoms include reckless spending, delusions of grandeur, extreme gaslighting of the electorate, and a pathological inability to grasp basic economics.
• Frequent hallucinations of “divine mandates” to govern without public consent.
• A belief that reality can be reshaped by issuing a press release.
2️⃣ DANGER TO THEMSELVES AND OTHERS
• The handling of public funds has now been classified as financial self-harm on a national scale.
• Attempts to alter electoral laws, land ownership, and even environmental protections are now recognized as signs of severe cognitive dissonance.
3️⃣ THE NEED FOR IMMEDIATE QUARANTINE
• A dangerous new strain of corruption has been identified—highly contagious among bureaucrats, resistant to logic, and immune to public outrage.
• No public engagement sessions allowed—exposure to their statements may cause acute despair, loss of brain function, and spontaneous facepalming.
• 24-hour surveillance required—subjects are known to flee accountability at Olympic speeds.
POTENTIAL ESCAPE ATTEMPTS & COUNTERMEASURES:
🔹 “WE ARE BEING OPPRESSED!”
• Treatment: Play recordings of their own past statements—this will induce immediate cognitive shutdown.
🔹 “WE ARE BEING INTERNED UNJUSTLY!”
• Treatment: Play the integral list of their MLA speeches before the Parliament, in the form of, Vogon poetry !
🔹 “THE PUBLIC LOVES US!”
• Treatment:Show them the comment section on Cayman News Service. Instant nervous breakdown.
🔹 “THIS IS AN ATTACK ON DEMOCRACY!”
• Treatment:Inform them that democracy requires functioning institutions, not ruling by divine decree.
NEXT STEPS: WHO REPLACES THEM?
Ambassador, now that the legislative asylum is being vacated, we must ponder: who shall govern in their absence?
Shall we appoint an AI with basic pattern recognition, which would already outperform the current administration?
Should decisions be entrusted to a Magic 8-Ball, which, at least, does not suffer from conflicts of interest?
Or shall we convene a grand council of bar staff and taxi drivers—those who truly know the pulse of the nation?
These are weighty matters, my dear Ambassador.
For now, let us find solace in the fact that for the first time in recent history, the right people are finally being sent to the right institution.
Dear Ambassador, the people have woken up people and they are winning !
This is a major blow to the integrity of Absurdistani influence on the fate of the island, This is a power grab of the forces of satire , logic, reason and common sense!
I urge you , your excellency, to deploy the Absurdistani Armed Forces as soon as possible, armed to the teeth with sporks , KFC buckets, riding on their fastest lead laden sea bikes for an immediate takeover!
Faithfully yours,
The Secretary to the Ambassador of Absurdistan.
The post scriptum is almost perfect, but it could use a stronger mic-drop effect while reinforcing the satirical edge. Here’s a refined version:
Post Scriptum:
While the events and characters mentioned above are purely fictional (or so they claim), the sheer level of bureaucratic lunacy, policy-induced psychosis, and fiscal self-destruction occurring in real time is alarmingly real.
Any resemblance to actual persons, living or desperately clinging to power, is entirely intentional.
Should any of the aforementioned individuals feel personally attacked, I assure you—this is merely a free psychiatric evaluation.
The bill, however, will not be covered by public funds.
ESRB Rating for This Transmission
Rating: AO (Absurdistan Only) – For Satirical Content & Political Devastation
⚠️ Content Descriptors:
✔ Extreme Bureaucratic Horror – May induce spontaneous facepalming and existential dread in policymakers.
✔ Strong Political Satire – Includes high doses of logic, reason, and ridicule that may be lethal to fragile egos.
✔ Dark Humor & Irony – Side effects include involuntary chuckling, cognitive dissonance, and sudden urges to fact-check government statements.
✔ Reality-Based Paranoia – Any resemblance to real-world corruption is not coincidental.
✔ High-Impact Verbal Weaponry – Contains rhetorical flamethrowers, bureaucratic demolition charges, and metaphoric orbital strikes.
✔ Mild Absurdity – May cause confusion among those unaccustomed to self-awareness.
🛑 WARNING:
• Not suitable for individuals with unchecked political ambition, aversion to satire, or allergic reactions to public accountability.
• Viewer discretion advised—especially for those residing at 33 Fort Street.
🔥 Final Verdict:
This content is rated 100% Absurdistan Certified. If symptoms of critical thinking persist for more than four hours, consult a reality specialist immediately!
Dear Ambassador of Absurdistan
If you’ve been wondering what to do with your secretary you’ll be pleased to know we have found availability in one of the units of the Poinciana Rehabilitation Facility for the Criminally Insane. Please have him report there immediately.
Yours sincerely
The Entire Readership of Cayman News Service
CNS please keep this chatGPT generated dribble out of the comments
Is the AG concerned about the criminally insane, or the Governor having power?
The issue was that a member of the executive was essentially exercising powers of the court. Also it was not possible to release the defendant with supervision conditions. It was either a full discharge or keep the person in custody. The hospital also felt that the criminally insane should not be held there.
Hopefully they take reservations
Hahaha !! Me too
Buildings not fit for the normally insane, but lets rethink using them for the criminally insane. – Yeah, that won’t go wrong.
We have known for years that we need (a) a residential mental health facility, i.e, Poinciana, and, (b) a secure mental health facility for those a danger to themselves & others. The point is that we need two places, not one that can’t do either job well.
It’s the Government’s and specifically HSA’s way. The HSA have been sending lesser affected mental patients to Mixed care facilities in the USA for decades so they ought to know they aren’t appropriate for the wellbeing of either the criminally insane or those affected without criminal tendencies.
How many patients does Cayman currently have that might be categorised as criminally insane, around ten maybe? Is it not more feasible and humane to house them overseas in specialist care facilities?
Besides, Ponciana wasn’t originally designed for this speculative purpose.
Are there any seasoned mental health professionals involved in making this decision or is Mr. Bulgin qualified enough, I highly doubt it. And do we really need to scrape the proverbial scum off the bottom of the barrel by allowing a Trollip to get involved in a critical debate such as this? After all, is he not a prime candidate for rehabilitating due to his repeated abuse of alcohol, and Vaseline?
Whilst UPM are on a juggernaut roll spending spree why not just build another facility named after our illustrious Premier? At least then some of our current cabinet members might feel safer being housed at Ponciana in the near future?
Yes we have known for years but done nothing. Basic Ministerial incompetence.
Along with this Governments complete failure in 4 years to progress/reform other long overdue to-dos; in no order and no doubt I missed plenty;
Dump, Health care/insurance, private pensions, state education performance, minimum wage, electoral boundaries, public transport, immigration, replacement prison, sovereign wealth fund, a developer fee waiver policy, Development Plan
I agree completely with these statements. People who have mental or physical illnesses but who are not dangerous do not deserve to share their housing with the criminally disturbed.
No, A separate purpose built / or properly adapted facility should be created fro the criminally insane. Do not house potentially dangerous people with those who are already suffering debilitating anxiety and other serious mental health issues…….
Perfectly said, thank you.
welcome to wonderland.
Wonderful Idea let us begin with Mac Julie Kenneth Alden oh just put the whole 19 of them there because they ALL INSANE AND FIT THE CRITERIA VOTE THEM ALL OUT TO ATTEND PONCIANNA REHAB OR BELVIEW
There’s a building on Fort Street where we send the criminally insane every four years.
Trouble is they’re now off their meds and running this asylum called Cayman
Nice one Centurian