Doppler radar going off-line this week for repairs
(CNS): The Kearney Gomez Doppler Weather Radar will be down for scheduled maintenance beginning on Wednesday, 15 January, the Cayman Islands National Weather Service (CINWS) has said. The beleaguered radar will undergo repairs recommended by the technicians who completed maintenance checks just last month, officials said.
During the repair process, which is expected to last three days, the radar will periodically be taken offline, rendering radar images unavailable to the public, a common occurrence over the years.
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Category: Science & Nature, Weather
THE SACRED RELIC OF MALFUNCTION: THE CAYMAN DOPPLER RADAR
(Or: The Most Expensive Paperweight in the Caribbean)
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Brethren, let us gather to marvel at the glorious technological wonder that is the Cayman Islands Doppler Radar—a device of such ineffable brilliance that it spends more time inoperable than functional!
For lo, we have chronicles of its woes:
📜 December 2024 – Out of service for annual maintenance!
📜 January 2025 – Off again for repairs!
📜 February 2025 – A/C upgrade puts it out of action!
📜 May 2023 – Parts “en route” just before storm season—meaning they will arrive precisely three days after a hurricane has flattened half the island.
One must ask: Has this ever functioned properly, or is it merely an obscenely expensive, oversized microwave oven that doesn’t even heat up leftovers correctly?
THE HOLY TENETS OF THE CAYMAN RADAR SYSTEM
1️⃣ THOU SHALT NOT EXPECT RELIABILITY.
For truly, the radar was not designed for mere mortals to comprehend weather patterns. No! It was built to test our patience and resilience, like some twisted bureaucratic trial of faith.
2️⃣ THOU SHALT INVEST MILLIONS FOR A MACHINE THAT SPENDS MOST OF ITS EXISTENCE “WAITING FOR PARTS.”
For why have a functional system when you can have a never-ending cycle of procurement delays, dubious maintenance schedules, and the ever-so-reassuring phrase “We are awaiting a part”—which, in government terms, translates to “it will never arrive.”
3️⃣ THOU SHALT NEVER REPAIR IT AT A LOGICAL TIME.
For behold! The annual maintenance ritual is not conducted in the calm of January, when the skies are clear and the storms are a distant worry. No! Instead, it is scheduled at the precise moment hurricane season looms, ensuring maximum inconvenience and rendering us all blind to incoming doom.
4️⃣ THOU SHALT FIND NEW AND CREATIVE WAYS TO DISABLE IT.
Now, my dear supplicants, let us consider the latest absurdity: the radar has gone offline because they upgraded the air conditioning.
THE AIR CONDITIONING.
My blessed Omnissiah, are they cooling it with liquid nitrogen, or did they decide to replace the entire island’s climate control system at once? How, pray tell, does a simple A/C upgrade result in an entire multi-million-dollar weather detection system collapsing into yet another blackout?
THE FINAL VERDICT: A GLORIFIED ORNAMENT OF FAILURE
The Cayman Doppler Radar is not a tool. It is a cursed artifact, a totem of dysfunction, a monument to bureaucratic ineptitude. If it were sentient, it would weep for the legacy it has been burdened with. And yet, it persists—forever broken, forever under maintenance, forever promising functionality it will never deliver.
So let us not expect too much, my brethren. For the Cayman Doppler Radar shall never truly serve the people.
It exists only to collect maintenance fees, provide endless excuses for its failure, and ensure that we must turn to international weather services when the skies darken and the winds howl.
And when the next hurricane threatens?
Well, we will simply have to guess.
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“Scheduled” maintenance. Not as in planned, annual maintenance irrespective of whether there is a problem, but planned in that they have decided to shut it down to fix a known problem, rather than it just breaking down. Even though its less than a month since the last repair. Scheduling its up time would be far more impressive!
can someone please explain what this has ever done to help cayman and what information can it provide that is not already issued by outlets like NHC???
Who even uses this anyhow?
Ah, the Kearney Gomez Doppler Radar: proving once again that even high-tech equipment needs its beauty sleep, though it seems to be napping more than working. Fingers crossed for a miraculous recovery this time!
I wonder what Kearney thinks having his name attached to this as useless as tits on a boar hog Doppler radar embarrassment.
just demolish….the thing is bad expensive joke on the people of cayman and in the modern age, serves little purpose.
With better weather tracking services in the US, do we actually need to rely on this one here in Cayman ?
nope. but in woke culture honesty goes out the window.
Weather radars are woke now?
nope..but honesty is.
This thing is offline more than it’s online!
Welcome come to Cayman…
And we are paying for it! When are we going to say enough is enough?
It was only out in early December for maintenance. And out again now. Is it ever working?